Hi Jon
welcome to the group - I'm AuDHD like quite a few others on here
I'm better online and small groups no more that 4 people - beyond that number is when things fall apart. Obviously someone familiar on a 1:1 basis is possibly the easiest for me.
Also setting is important, esepcially for the sensory side too - I'm better with online zoom/teams type calls, or if face to face in smaller/quieter or outdoor spaces.
Obviously generally chatting to other NDs is by far much easier than dealing with NTs. Basically anywhere you can mask less is better - so work and family interactions are probably where I have to mask more.
Too many people, too many new people, and a false social setting, e.g . an event at the office (I largely WFH) where almost everyone else will be NT, that can actually bring on panic attack symptoms for me. Actually the sensory side can do this by themselves for me , even without any social interaction e.g. commuting on public transport: I've largely not disclosed this to many , in fact my diagnosis I have kept hidden from many including immediate family members - stops having to explain as I'm happy with my diagnoses, although I know some NDs do not like their own
were you recently diagnosed ?