I kinda relate. I'm 44 but feel somehow 'childlike' like I could never fully 'grow up'. All the responsibilities and demands... it's like I'm playing a game, an act. I never really wanted to leave my parents house, just felt like I needed to be 'looked after' all my life... no clue why, I'm capable and have a good job and everything but... I always think to myself I'm Peter Pan and just wanted to stay in NeverLand. My happiest moment this week was when my partner's new office gave them a bee soft toy filled with beans and bees have been a lifelong love of mine and I just got sooo excited and thrilled and asked him could I keep this gorgeous little bee (which now sits on my desk). I remember first time having a uni friend over to my home and she remarked about my room (not in a mean way, I don't think anyway) Oh wow your room is so childlike... (I had bookshelf, soft toys, china dolls, paintings I'd done on the walls, pics of birds which has always been my special interest... I never knew until that day this was deemed 'childlsh').
I haven't got kids of my own coz I never felt 'grown up' enough to look after anyone else. It is kinda like being thrown into the world and just expected to manage. Sorry you feel lost, I hope being here helps somehow with like minded/similar souls.
NDSA
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