Autism and Gender

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ProfessorWorm

Active member
Does anyone else find their experience of gender is different to their NT counterparts? I’m enby, bouncing between agender and demigirl although neither quite feel right, and I’m struggling to find a term(s) that describe it best and was wondering if this was common.
 
ProfessorWorm said:
Does anyone else find their experience of gender is different to their NT counterparts? I’m enby, bouncing between agender and demigirl although neither quite feel right, and I’m struggling to find a term(s) that describe it best and was wondering if this was common.
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Hi ProfessorWorm, i do know that Autistics play a big part in the LGBT community.

I’m trans ftm and for the past few years i yearly Attend a gender identity clinic called Tavistock & Portman trust-the consultant psych I have there specialises in gender dysphoria in adults with autism and/or intellectual disability, I have both conditions and didn’t understand gender to Any degree until I was around 25 and I was being taught by my care homes tutor what gender actually meant,to me everyone was the same generic shape.

For me,it’s took longer to get to the Stage of being prescribed testosterone and signed off for surgery (unfortunately that was meant to happen this year just before the covid stuff) as the last care home I was in was run by a religious fanatic who didn’t believe transgender Exists she kept hiding all the letters from the gender clinic until I was discharged from them due to lack of my staff answering....,my mental capacity to understand was also questioned by my own 2 support staff who went with me, It was also questioned by a GP who had never met me before,he had only had a phone chat with my intellectual disability nurse about me, thankfully Dr James Barrett saw I have capacity and even said my own support staff (two staff always go with me when visiting any distances) should be supporting me to make decisions, not fighting against them because they disagree with being trans, i left that meeting feeling so happy and they said he was rude lol.

sorry,I’ve rambled on as I usually do🤦‍♂️ but yes there most definitely is Common gender differences Amongst the spectrum,there should be a survey taken.
 
I'm genuinely profoundly grateful I grew up when I did. I've never had any issue with my gender, but I hugely identify with Hannah Gadsby's term of "incorrectly female" and have absolutely no doubt, if I was a child now, well-meaning people would be having serious talks with my parents about my gender. I hate how narrow the acceptable presentation has become... feels about as far removed from the promise of equality I grew up with as it's possible to get.

But yes, I seem to experience gender very differently to my neurotypical counterparts. Right down to the lack of feeling any need to identify as other than my biological gender just because society has such narrow views of what that should encompass.
 
I consider myself non binary as I feel my body has too many features from the opposite sex to really feel solely one gender, as I'm quite androgynous. I've found a lot of people on the spectrum tend to experience gender differently, even if identifying as cisgender. A friend of mine is a cisgendered man who feels like he's quite feminine.

I disagree with Baron-Cohen's extreme male brain theory as I feel autistic men aren't particularly masculine from personal experience.
 
Sata1991 said:
I disagree with Baron-Cohen's extreme male brain theory as I feel autistic men aren't particularly masculine from personal experience.
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I disagree with his theory because it is one of the most sexist, poorly researched theories about autism I’ve ever read and I’ve read quite a few. The core of his argument is that autistics have brains that are extremely biased towards systemizing rather than empathizing, a female trait, and explained it by saying there were higher levels of testosterone in our amniotic fluid causing it. His data was skewed, his questionnaire and population selection picked to support his hypothesis and lacking in diversity, and was generally badly designed.
 
ProfessorWorm said:
Does anyone else find their experience of gender is different to their NT counterparts? I’m enby, bouncing between agender and demigirl although neither quite feel right, and I’m struggling to find a term(s) that describe it best and was wondering if this was common.
Click to expand...

I also class myself as agender. I have never felt like a female at all, and it has brought me a lot of stress throughout my life. As far as the female anatomy goes I just want it all gone. I'm pretty disgusted by it. I'm scared to transition though, so I'm pretty much stuck between the two.
 
My eldest (diagnosed Aspergers in 1996) has transitioned (mtf). When she had her surgery last year (she's 27 now) the nurse she had at the clinic told us that 'virtually all' of their gender reassignment clients were autistic. Obviously that's anecdotal but I found it very interesting and I know there's been some research done into this. I think it might be something to do with some autistic people being more honest and open and less worried about what other people think of them - but I don't think that accounts for everything so maybe there's something in the brain wiring. It fascinates me.

As a sidenote I have learnt so much from my kids, not least of which is to expect the unexpected on a permanent basis. I hope there will come a time when transition is accepted more widely and normalised rather than demonised.