Anxiety about upcoming assessment

Chill-E said:
@bluelyn Good luck with your job search and have been there with the job centre Agents (I'll call them that as an AI Agent could do their job) so know the job app game (apply for anything) you have to play

I think finding the right job is key , my job could align very well , but there are aspects that do not and take their toll that make it unsustainable and I think employment being sustainable is a difficult ask. I wouldn't say impossible but stats aren't in our favour. Even being employed is just a tick box - and I suspect many are underemployed in order possibly to make it sustainable, and not being able to build the career path they thought they wanted or what others expected (my dad has many time told me that X has a good job but never said it to me) : I think this difficulty with sustainable employment applies whether your late diagnosed (and here mean in 40s or after) or someone getting diagnosed much earlier say 20s., as disclosure and adjustments at work is easier in theory than practice for the majority.

@Clareh37 good luck with your assessment in March , it is life a changing moment when you can begin to understand and be kinder to yourself and "find your tribe" you may look at what you do and even friendships that actually are counterproductive to your wellbeing, and carve a new path forward
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Thank you Chilli, to stop the repeat burnout we need work that ingites us and environments that stimulate not over stimulate us, otherwise we repeat the pattern of burnout, but getting the job centre to understand that and finding work to support that well let's say since 2004 I've not managed to achieve it and I have 17 more years to work
 
bluelyn said:
Thank you Chilli, to stop the repeat burnout we need work that ingites us and environments that stimulate not over stimulate us, otherwise we repeat the pattern of burnout, but getting the job centre to understand that and finding work to support that well let's say since 2004 I've not managed to achieve it and I have 17 more years to work
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Agree the work needs to be a good fit in many ways - but perfect is difficult to find

Forget the job centre - other then ticking their checklist - so you don't get a penalty

have you used AI to see what possibly roles it suggests ?
 
Chill-E said:
Agree the work needs to be a good fit in many ways - but perfect is difficult to find

Forget the job centre - other then ticking their checklist - so you don't get a penalty

have you used AI to see what possibly roles it suggests ?
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I have yes, they either need qualifications or nothing like that in my area, I can't do the travel into London any more, the trains are to much for me
 
Yes trains especially commuter ones into London by myself are the worst.

I think how I was when I landed in the office after car, train and tube the last time I tried is probably why my boss is OK not to ask my to go there, havent been to my office for over a year now !.

Off peak I can do a train if there some benefit like seeing someone for a meal (but not rush hour commuting) and I'm better travelling with someone on public transport, even the tube is is better with someone although I'd rather not. The car is no probs in comparison.

I think many jobs have an artifical list of qualifications - yes some things you legally need a qualification - but I'm pretty sure many jobs its setting more of a barrier. Plus if the role is something you know you have the skills and even a passion for, then I'd apply preferably by connecting with a person else the CV scraping tools will probably weed out your application.

I'm terrible at interviews - especially when its a role I'm more interested in. I've not asked for adjustments - but if I have to look again I might, although I do very limited disclosure in both work and outside work. Have you thought if you would you ask for adjustments at interview stage or whether you'd disclose you're ND ?
 
Chill-E said:
Yes trains especially commuter ones into London by myself are the worst.

I think how I was when I landed in the office after car, train and tube the last time I tried is probably why my boss is OK not to ask my to go there, havent been to my office for over a year now !.

Off peak I can do a train if there some benefit like seeing someone for a meal (but not rush hour commuting) and I'm better travelling with someone on public transport, even the tube is is better with someone although I'd rather not. The car is no probs in comparison.

I think many jobs have an artifical list of qualifications - yes some things you legally need a qualification - but I'm pretty sure many jobs its setting more of a barrier. Plus if the role is something you know you have the skills and even a passion for, then I'd apply preferably by connecting with a person else the CV scraping tools will probably weed out your application.

I'm terrible at interviews - especially when its a role I'm more interested in. I've not asked for adjustments - but if I have to look again I might, although I do very limited disclosure in both work and outside work. Have you thought if you would you ask for adjustments at interview stage or whether you'd disclose you're ND ?
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I had an interview last year and tried to be honest about the accommodation I need, they put the advent back out and changed the job description and when I asked does that mean I wasn't successful, I was told my honesty about my self awareness was refreshing, but they have decided to go a different route with the job

It was the same job, just a different title

I'm terrible in interviews, reason I keep ending back at the same workplace that sends me into burnout

18 months working - 6 months in burnout has been my pattern since 2013, I had one other job in that time which I enjoyed until they started making changes and I had to ask 100s of questions and they questioned if I knew the job, and I became a target for being let go

That was 2024, been applying for jobs ever since

Yes London on busy trains are not fun

And I have meltdowns when I get of the train when I can't work out where to go
 
its such a difficult time to find work at the moment - so try not to be too hard on yourself

It's another area where I think the support is very lacking - although maybe contact NDSA as I think they run a course that may help
 
Clareh37 said:
Hello all. I have somehow missed this whole conversation after the initial (lovely) reply to my post. Reading all the follow ups now is so reassuring and I love how supportive this group is, I will try and engage more from now on. And I hope that you are all finding the support and care you need - Bluelyn, Camel, Polarbear … I am thinking of you all.

I haven’t had my assessment yet … it’s scheduled now for the 3rd March, and after all your support, I’m trying to be as positive as I can about it, rather than simply terrified!

We can do this! ☺️
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Hi Clare37,

I just wanted to wish you all the best for your assessment tomorrow. Just be yourself and you’ll be fine. I know you will be a bundle of nerves, we all were, it’s fine to feel anxious.

I’ve said this in a previous post, whatever the result you will always be welcome here, whatever the assessor says.

I have my fingers crossed for you.

You can do this!🤞

Wade

P. S. When you’ve recovered, please let us know how you got on
 
Clareh37 said:
Hello all. I have somehow missed this whole conversation after the initial (lovely) reply to my post. Reading all the follow ups now is so reassuring and I love how supportive this group is, I will try and engage more from now on. And I hope that you are all finding the support and care you need - Bluelyn, Camel, Polarbear … I am thinking of you all.

I haven’t had my assessment yet … it’s scheduled now for the 3rd March, and after all your support, I’m trying to be as positive as I can about it, rather than simply terrified!

We can do this! ☺️
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Hi Clareh37 - Good luck for your assessment today. I was diagnosed ASD/C in Jan 26. Thinking of you and hope it goes well. Let us know how you get on. Joey.
 
Hi all,
Just wanted to let all you kind people know that I had my assessment on Monday, and have just been called today to say that I am officially autistic. Such relief! (Along with a slew of other emotions I haven’t quite identified yet). I was terrified that they’d say I was imagining things …but no. And they were so kind - none of the contempt I had someone been expecting 🙄. Weird what we can do to ourselves!
Anyhow … if anyone is looking for a good private assessment (and is lucky enough to be able to afford one, as I was after an inheritance) … I would highly recommend Auristic Girls, based in Knutsford. They specialise in late diagnosed women (I was 64 yesterday - this is a great birthday present for me!).
Thanks everyone for your support with my pre-assessment anxiety. It meant so much.
Clare xx
 
Hi Clare

Congratulations, well done and belated Birthday Greetings!🥰

I’m so pleased the support from your community has been helpful.

This is just a beginning. Expect to feel all kinds of emotions. This is a life changing diagnosis.

Can I encourage you to build even more connections with the Autistic community. It’s full of kind, helpful and supportive people. Research what post diagnostic support is available in your area. It’s extremely variable, from good to more commonly non existent. I can recommend the NDSA “Living well with Autism” lectures and especially the NDSA “Pathway course” which includes one to one mentoring from an Autistic trained mentor. This changed my life, helped me to understand myself and the Neurodivergent community. I’ve made good friends and had all the help and support I need to come to terms with my real authentic identity.

I look forward to reading more of your posts as you embark on the journey of being Clare 2.0, authentic, unmasked and comfortable in your own skin.

Best wishes,

Wade
 
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Camel said:
Hi Clare

Congratulations, well done and belated Birthday Greetings!🥰

I’m so pleased the support from your community has been helpful.

This is just a beginning. Expect to feel all kinds of emotions. This is a life changing diagnosis.

Can I encourage you to build even more with connections the Autistic community. It’s full of kind, helpful and supportive people. Research what post diagnostic support is available in your area. It’s extremely variable, from good to more commonly non existent. I can recommend the NDSA “Living well with Autism” lectures and especially the NDSA “Pathway course” which includes one to one mentoring from an Autistic trained mentor. This changed my life, helped me to understand myself and the Neurodivergent community. I’ve made good friends and had all the help and support I need to come to terms with my real authentic identity.

I look forward to reading more of your posts as you embark on the journey of being Clare 2.0, authentic, unmasked and comfortable in your own skin.

Best wishes,

Wade
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Thanks so much Wade. And yes, planning to delve more into all this as I embark on this new phase of life. 🥹. A lot to think about and start to unravel ….
Thanks again to you and everyone on here. Such lovely folk!
💕