Hello everyone

D

DLJ1972

New member
Hello :)
I've been quite nervous to introduce myself, but I've just read a few threads and was pleasantly surprised to see how lovely and supportive people were to each other. So, here goes. My name is Deborah / Debs. I was diagnosed several months ago with ADHD. I am also perimenopausal, and have been taking anti-depressants for most of my adult life due to struggling with anxiety and depression, also for most of my life. I experienced a lot of childhood trauma & neglect, and I have previously been diagnosed with CPTSD. I have spent much of my life in therapy and working so hard to "fix myself", but the past few years my struggles have felt more difficult to manage and my resilience feels so much less. I am currently changing from one anti-depressant to another, and have spent the last 5 months trying different ADHD medications, none of which helped (stimulants made me unbearably anxious).

Right now, my main struggle is one of confusion, frustration and exhaustion. I am currently awaiting an autism assessment after a recommendation from my therapist. I was asked to complete autism training at work approximately 4 weeks ago, so I could learn how to best support autistic colleagues and visitors, and I was shocked and upset learning about ASD as I could relate so much to it and also relate it to members of my family who have now passed away. I continued to look into ASD and neurodivergence further, and I came across an AUDHD information sheet which described me and my constant, contradictory and conflicting daily struggles. This "learning" has impacted me greatly. I feel overwhelmed with confusion and a huge range of emotions. Learning "my truth" has always been so important to me as I have often found knowing how I feel and what I want difficult to understand. I have also encountered people saying things like ADHD and ASD don't really exist etc and I've found myself isolating myself a bit as a way of protecting myself at this time. I would like to talk to people who really know about AUDHD so I can learn and hopefully begin to understand myself a bit more. If I do have ADHD and ASD then I will need support to help me process that and work out ways in which I can go forward with a lifestyle that supports me rather than depleting me. I feel very depleted right now. I also feel that I am potentially in the process of really discovering who I am and how I have managed myself so much over the years as a way of surviving as a child and fitting in as an adult while always also trying to keep myself separate due to not feeling like I belonged and that people don't really want me there. I have always thought this was related to CPTSD, and maybe it is. But, right now I am thinking it maybe more than that. Sincere apologies; I feel like all I've done is waffle on.
Kindest regards
Debs
 
Hi Debs - nice to read your message - there's quite a number of us who are AuDHD here, and have differing gaps between being diagnosed with ADHD or Autism first, from months to several years , before thinking about and getting the second diagnosis and I suspect there a large number who are undiagnosed too.

There's limited AuDHD info around - I'm going to this online event in a couple of weeks AuDHD Summit which may be of interest to you.

Also Dr Megan Neff who has written a couple of really good books on Self-Care and Burnout for Autism , says she is writing an AuDHD book - so I'm looking forward to that coming out.

Are you looking into getting a diagnosis for Autism ?
 
Hi Debs, welcome — I’m really glad you felt able to introduce yourself. It takes a lot of courage to share all of that, especially when you’re feeling exhausted and confused.

I am an AuDHD woman diagnosed late in life too. I went through a similar phases. Many people here will recognise the experience of discovering ADHD or autism later in life and suddenly seeing their past in a completely new light. That period can bring a lot of emotions — confusion, grief, relief, and frustration all at once. What you’re describing is actually very common.


There can also be quite a lot of overlap between ADHD, autism and CPTSD, and they can co-occur, which can make things feel complicated to untangle. And perimenopause can make ADHD symptoms, anxiety and sensory sensitivities much more intense, so many women begin exploring neurodivergence around this time.


It’s also very common for stimulant medication to increase anxiety for some people, so you’re not alone there.


Mostly, it sounds like you’ve spent many years working incredibly hard to understand yourself and cope with difficult experiences. That isn’t “failing to fix yourself” — that’s surviving. Be gentle with yourself while you process all of this. You don’t have to work it all out at once, and you’re among people here who understand.
 
Margot said:
Hi Debs, welcome — I’m really glad you felt able to introduce yourself. It takes a lot of courage to share all of that, especially when you’re feeling exhausted and confused.

I am an AuDHD woman diagnosed late in life too. I went through a similar phases. Many people here will recognise the experience of discovering ADHD or autism later in life and suddenly seeing their past in a completely new light. That period can bring a lot of emotions — confusion, grief, relief, and frustration all at once. What you’re describing is actually very common.


There can also be quite a lot of overlap between ADHD, autism and CPTSD, and they can co-occur, which can make things feel complicated to untangle. And perimenopause can make ADHD symptoms, anxiety and sensory sensitivities much more intense, so many women begin exploring neurodivergence around this time.


It’s also very common for stimulant medication to increase anxiety for some people, so you’re not alone there.


Mostly, it sounds like you’ve spent many years working incredibly hard to understand yourself and cope with difficult experiences. That isn’t “failing to fix yourself” — that’s surviving. Be gentle with yourself while you process all of this. You don’t have to work it all out at once, and you’re among people here who understand.
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Hello Margot,
Thank you so much for your message. I actually cried when you said "That isn't failing to fix yourself - that's surviving". I truly appreciate you taking the time to validate so much of my experience too. I don't actually know any other people who have AUDHD, or atleast knowing they have it and have processed what that means to them. Has knowing helped you? I'd be interested to hear your experience if you would like to share it. Absolutely no worries if not though. Thank you again sincerely for your kindness and warm welcome 🙏
Debs
 
Chill-E said:
Hi Debs - nice to read your message - there's quite a number of us who are AuDHD here, and have differing gaps between being diagnosed with ADHD or Autism first, from months to several years , before thinking about and getting the second diagnosis and I suspect there a large number who are undiagnosed too.

There's limited AuDHD info around - I'm going to this online event in a couple of weeks AuDHD Summit which may be of interest to you.

Also Dr Megan Neff who has written a couple of really good books on Self-Care and Burnout for Autism , says she is writing an AuDHD book - so I'm looking forward to that coming out.

Are you looking into getting a diagnosis for Autism ?
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Hi Chill-E,
Thanks so much for your reply and the information about the summit you're attending. I've just had a look, and unfortunately I'll be working that day so I can't go. But I did, as a result of looking at that event, see an online one which I've registered on: it's about AuDHD nervous systems and restorative rest so I'm looking forward to that. I've attached a screenshot of it for you 🙂 Just incase you're interested.

I am waiting for an autism assessment. Even typing that makes me feel like such a fraud! Do you think that's common? I'm hoping that the more I learn, the more I will settle down emotionally.

Anyway, thank you again for responding to my message. I really appreciate it.

Debs
 

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DLJ1972 said:
Hi Chill-E,
Thanks so much for your reply and the information about the summit you're attending. I've just had a look, and unfortunately I'll be working that day so I can't go. But I did, as a result of looking at that event, see an online one which I've registered on: it's about AuDHD nervous systems and restorative rest so I'm looking forward to that. I've attached a screenshot of it for you 🙂 Just incase you're interested.

I am waiting for an autism assessment. Even typing that makes me feel like such a fraud! Do you think that's common? I'm hoping that the more I learn, the more I will settle down emotionally.

Anyway, thank you again for responding to my message. I really appreciate it.

Debs
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Hi Debs

Most the online Seed Talks are recorded and you get a link for a few weeks - but then its finding time to look at them. But they are good - and usually some interesting topics and the majority of presenters are excellent the majority talk from lived experience - which I think is essential

yes - many of us do go through phases of imposter syndrome, even post diagnosis, its all part of the journey

the learning takes time , at your own pace, I'm still in this phase 15 months on
 
DLJ1972 said:
Hello :)
I've been quite nervous to introduce myself, but I've just read a few threads and was pleasantly surprised to see how lovely and supportive people were to each other. So, here goes. My name is Deborah / Debs. I was diagnosed several months ago with ADHD. I am also perimenopausal, and have been taking anti-depressants for most of my adult life due to struggling with anxiety and depression, also for most of my life. I experienced a lot of childhood trauma & neglect, and I have previously been diagnosed with CPTSD. I have spent much of my life in therapy and working so hard to "fix myself", but the past few years my struggles have felt more difficult to manage and my resilience feels so much less. I am currently changing from one anti-depressant to another, and have spent the last 5 months trying different ADHD medications, none of which helped (stimulants made me unbearably anxious).

Right now, my main struggle is one of confusion, frustration and exhaustion. I am currently awaiting an autism assessment after a recommendation from my therapist. I was asked to complete autism training at work approximately 4 weeks ago, so I could learn how to best support autistic colleagues and visitors, and I was shocked and upset learning about ASD as I could relate so much to it and also relate it to members of my family who have now passed away. I continued to look into ASD and neurodivergence further, and I came across an AUDHD information sheet which described me and my constant, contradictory and conflicting daily struggles. This "learning" has impacted me greatly. I feel overwhelmed with confusion and a huge range of emotions. Learning "my truth" has always been so important to me as I have often found knowing how I feel and what I want difficult to understand. I have also encountered people saying things like ADHD and ASD don't really exist etc and I've found myself isolating myself a bit as a way of protecting myself at this time. I would like to talk to people who really know about AUDHD so I can learn and hopefully begin to understand myself a bit more. If I do have ADHD and ASD then I will need support to help me process that and work out ways in which I can go forward with a lifestyle that supports me rather than depleting me. I feel very depleted right now. I also feel that I am potentially in the process of really discovering who I am and how I have managed myself so much over the years as a way of surviving as a child and fitting in as an adult while always also trying to keep myself separate due to not feeling like I belonged and that people don't really want me there. I have always thought this was related to CPTSD, and maybe it is. But, right now I am thinking it maybe more than that. Sincere apologies; I feel like all I've done is waffle on.
Kindest regards
Debs
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Hi Debs
I'm a newly diagnosed autistic at 61 also with CPTSD. I'm too going through the total shock of thinking everything that made me different was due to bad parenting and childhood trauma and now I discover I'm also autistic and don't know what is CPTSD and what is autism. The diagnosis process has been very triggering given the amount of questions I had to try and answer on early childhood. Now I'm apparently supposed to understand myself, when instead I feel like everything I thought I knew about myself was wrong. It's like suddenly discovered you're adopted, it instead realising my dad was an undiagnosed autistic and I'm very much my dad genetically. It's all very confusing. I'm grateful to the people who accept me as I am. I feel fortunate to live in a very creative small town in Devon that is full of alternative people and probably an off the scale ND index! And I've decided I won't be choosing to spend time with judgemental people going forward, life is too short. Be very kind to yourself and if you can register for the pathway programme that NDSA run. I'm absolutely thrilled to be on the next intake. There is another one in June and I'd recommend trying to get on it. I don't believe formal diagnosis is required.
 
MadCatLady said:
Hi Debs
I'm a newly diagnosed autistic at 61 also with CPTSD. I'm too going through the total shock of thinking everything that made me different was due to bad parenting and childhood trauma and now I discover I'm also autistic and don't know what is CPTSD and what is autism. The diagnosis process has been very triggering given the amount of questions I had to try and answer on early childhood. Now I'm apparently supposed to understand myself, when instead I feel like everything I thought I knew about myself was wrong. It's like suddenly discovered you're adopted, it instead realising my dad was an undiagnosed autistic and I'm very much my dad genetically. It's all very confusing. I'm grateful to the people who accept me as I am. I feel fortunate to live in a very creative small town in Devon that is full of alternative people and probably an off the scale ND index! And I've decided I won't be choosing to spend time with judgemental people going forward, life is too short. Be very kind to yourself and if you can register for the pathway programme that NDSA run. I'm absolutely thrilled to be on the next intake. There is another one in June and I'd recommend trying to get on it. I don't believe formal diagnosis is required.
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Hey MadCatLady! It's so lovely to hear from you. Thank you for replying to my introduction! I am also a mad cat lady :) I have attached a picture of my three gorgeous kitties - all siblings <3 They aren't as tiny anymore, but they are still very cute.
I really hear you when you say you don't know what is CPTSD and what is autism 🫂 It is exactly that questioning and not knowing that has shook me to my core too. I understand too about the diagnosis being triggering. It's so difficult going down memory lane when the memories are not good. Being autistic with CPTSD makes the need for a sense of security even more crucial and yet this journey is anything but! I'm so glad you have people who accept you as you are and that you live in what sounds like a really lovely Devon town :) I used to visit Devon a lot - it's such a beautiful place. Paignton and Torbay were my favourite places to visit. I applied for the NDSA program about a week ago, but I'm not sure when the start date is. I do hope I'm on the same one as you! Take good care, and thank you again for saying hello. It's a pleasure to meet you.
 

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Hello Debs, guessing by the 1972 in your nick your around the same age as me, I had my ADHD assessment last october and my ASD one in January, like you I was on anixty and depession medication for a long time but managed to come off them as I felt they did not work after about 15 years of being on them, I now put this down to the ADHD and Autisim instead and hopefully with the support of this group I can get even better control of these syptoms.
I broke the cycle by starting a new hobby which was re-inacting, its basicly camping in fancy dress so this helped as without realising I was masking (without knowing I was masking at the time) then slowly the masking dropped little by little.
As my comfidence grew and the anixity levels lower I started giving public speachs, not saying this would work for anyone else but this how I became stronger, more comfident and now back in the work place.
I still get anxious but nowhere near to how bad it was before.
 
Ajax said:
Hello Debs, guessing by the 1972 in your nick your around the same age as me, I had my ADHD assessment last october and my ASD one in January, like you I was on anixty and depession medication for a long time but managed to come off them as I felt they did not work after about 15 years of being on them, I now put this down to the ADHD and Autisim instead and hopefully with the support of this group I can get even better control of these syptoms.
I broke the cycle by starting a new hobby which was re-inacting, its basicly camping in fancy dress so this helped as without realising I was masking (without knowing I was masking at the time) then slowly the masking dropped little by little.
As my comfidence grew and the anixity levels lower I started giving public speachs, not saying this would work for anyone else but this how I became stronger, more comfident and now back in the work place.
I still get anxious but nowhere near to how bad it was before.
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Hello Ajax. Nice to meet you : ) Yes, 1972 is the year I was born. Also like you, I've been on anti-depressants for years. Maybe once I begin to get my head around me in relation to ND, I too will feel able to come off them. Right now, I feel like I'm free falling though. I've not heard of "Re-inacting" before. I'm really glad you've began to feel more confident in yourself and less anxious too. It sounds like you're on the right path! I'm back at work too now. I need to make changes, but I find making changes so hard to do and quite distressful and very confusing. My mind changes so often that I feel so unconfident about what to do, and so usually changes come through necessity and burnout. Anyway, take care.
 
DLJ1972 said:
Hello :)
I've been quite nervous to introduce myself, but I've just read a few threads and was pleasantly surprised to see how lovely and supportive people were to each other. So, here goes. My name is Deborah / Debs. I was diagnosed several months ago with ADHD. I am also perimenopausal, and have been taking anti-depressants for most of my adult life due to struggling with anxiety and depression, also for most of my life. I experienced a lot of childhood trauma & neglect, and I have previously been diagnosed with CPTSD. I have spent much of my life in therapy and working so hard to "fix myself", but the past few years my struggles have felt more difficult to manage and my resilience feels so much less. I am currently changing from one anti-depressant to another, and have spent the last 5 months trying different ADHD medications, none of which helped (stimulants made me unbearably anxious).

Right now, my main struggle is one of confusion, frustration and exhaustion. I am currently awaiting an autism assessment after a recommendation from my therapist. I was asked to complete autism training at work approximately 4 weeks ago, so I could learn how to best support autistic colleagues and visitors, and I was shocked and upset learning about ASD as I could relate so much to it and also relate it to members of my family who have now passed away. I continued to look into ASD and neurodivergence further, and I came across an AUDHD information sheet which described me and my constant, contradictory and conflicting daily struggles. This "learning" has impacted me greatly. I feel overwhelmed with confusion and a huge range of emotions. Learning "my truth" has always been so important to me as I have often found knowing how I feel and what I want difficult to understand. I have also encountered people saying things like ADHD and ASD don't really exist etc and I've found myself isolating myself a bit as a way of protecting myself at this time. I would like to talk to people who really know about AUDHD so I can learn and hopefully begin to understand myself a bit more. If I do have ADHD and ASD then I will need support to help me process that and work out ways in which I can go forward with a lifestyle that supports me rather than depleting me. I feel very depleted right now. I also feel that I am potentially in the process of really discovering who I am and how I have managed myself so much over the years as a way of surviving as a child and fitting in as an adult while always also trying to keep myself separate due to not feeling like I belonged and that people don't really want me there. I have always thought this was related to CPTSD, and maybe it is. But, right now I am thinking it maybe more than that. Sincere apologies; I feel like all I've done is waffle on.
Kindest regards
Debs
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Hi Debs, welcome and I can so relate to you! I am also recently diagnosed AuDHD so am also trying to get my head around it (the autism bit has triggered a lot of emotions for me) - maybe as I suspected adhd for several years and autism kind of hit out of the blue. Perimenopause has made everything so much more of a struggle especially as I cannot take any meds for either condition so am basically winging it for now which isnt really working. I was labelled at a young age "shy" and "introverted" and was bullied in school so tend to keep to myself or a few trusted people who I trust to be more myself around but I do keep a lot to myself, avoid large groups, and struggle to actually attend new social events even though I desperately want to meet people in my new area . This program came into my radar at the right time and I am sure we will all find it very helpful and supportive.
 
DLJ1972 said:
Hey MadCatLady! It's so lovely to hear from you. Thank you for replying to my introduction! I am also a mad cat lady :) I have attached a picture of my three gorgeous kitties - all siblings <3 They aren't as tiny anymore, but they are still very cute.
I really hear you when you say you don't know what is CPTSD and what is autism 🫂 It is exactly that questioning and not knowing that has shook me to my core too. I understand too about the diagnosis being triggering. It's so difficult going down memory lane when the memories are not good. Being autistic with CPTSD makes the need for a sense of security even more crucial and yet this journey is anything but! I'm so glad you have people who accept you as you are and that you live in what sounds like a really lovely Devon town :) I used to visit Devon a lot - it's such a beautiful place. Paignton and Torbay were my favourite places to visit. I applied for the NDSA program about a week ago, but I'm not sure when the start date is. I do hope I'm on the same one as you! Take good care, and thank you again for saying hello. It's a pleasure to meet you.
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I realise I never sent a picture of my beautiful Misty. I've had her 4.5 years and she was an absolutely terrified rescue cat when I first got her. She'd experienced trauma and hid under the bed and hissed at me, but she's now very happy and a brilliant companion. She's not really a lap cat, but the night of my diagnosis she sat on my lap and must have known I needed some comfort. I still say my cat is my best therapist and instead of asking questions she just sits with me and accepts me!
A dear friend last week very wisely said that the diagnosis and report (which is very negative and full of errors) has served it's purpose and should now be put away and ignored. I think she is probably right, but I have a strong moral compass and having a report that isn't even factually correct irks me.
Like you I've a lot to process, but finding NDSA feels a very positive step and I'm looking forward to meeting like minded people who are learning to view their neurodiversity positively. My first thought on being told I was probably autistic, was that I wanted to be like Greta Thunberg! I'm an environmentalist and she's one of my heros. And she's not letting her autism stop her, more like it's enabling her to achieve so much.
 
jm-2026 said:
Hi Debs, welcome and I can so relate to you! I am also recently diagnosed AuDHD so am also trying to get my head around it (the autism bit has triggered a lot of emotions for me) - maybe as I suspected adhd for several years and autism kind of hit out of the blue. Perimenopause has made everything so much more of a struggle especially as I cannot take any meds for either condition so am basically winging it for now which isnt really working. I was labelled at a young age "shy" and "introverted" and was bullied in school so tend to keep to myself or a few trusted people who I trust to be more myself around but I do keep a lot to myself, avoid large groups, and struggle to actually attend new social events even though I desperately want to meet people in my new area . This program came into my radar at the right time and I am sure we will all find it very helpful and supportive.
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Hello jm-2026 :) Thank you for saying Hi and sharing yourself with me. It's really good to meet you. You really struck a chord with me in relation to being bullied at school and your attempts these days to "wing it", with very little success! Life can be really tough at times, can't it :( Also like you, I have a tendency to steer away from large groups and over the past few years especially, I have isolated myself more and more. At the same time however, I really want to connect! I am such a social people person sometimes, and equally the opposite at other times! During the past few years, my natural optimism (which has proved to be a major resiliency factor) has definitely decreased, and that's coincided with a tendency to need more alone time. I've been thinking alot today about the kind of paralysis I feel due to having such opposing, contradictory needs. I fear making big changes these days because I am so emotionally inconsistent while drowning in self doubt, so instead, I fight the urge to be impulsive and just struggle along on the same brain loop dilemma. I also make life difficult for myself because I impulsively make (smaller life) decisions all of the time, and so on a daily basis I struggle with over-commitment, whilst also holding on to things I probably should let go of, but can't face doing for fear of regret! I'm sorry this is all over the place. It really does reflect my mind at the moment. I long for clarity and to feel understood - by me and by others. The level of not knowing myself feels so unsafe and worrisome. In some ways it's quite familiar too as there have been several periods in my life that have been hallmarked with confusion, self doubt and paralysis. I have this desperate need to know and to understand me and my situation - Is it ADHD? Is it ASD? Is it CPTSD or AuDHD?? Is it all of these or is it something else entirely different? I try to explain how I feel to people by saying that I used to be like a cup of coffee that was filled to the brim, but most of the time I carried myself very carefully and therefore didn't spill over too often. Since being on the rollercoaster of perimenopause however, that cup of coffee is spilling coffee all over the place and I can't seem to stop myself from splashing all over everybody, and I feel so terribly bad about it! I'm still so new on this journey so I'm not sure if I'm right when I say, I think that reflects how good I was at masking, and how difficult it has been during recent years to keep the mask in place. I don't even really know what has been the mask and what is actually me as I am pretty sure I started shaping myself to be a certain way from infancy in order to survive in my family home. All this leads me to question, "Who am I then?" I feel like I'm going through an identity crisis and it's being aired on TV for everyone to see because my ability to hide my struggles has been replaced by an increased tendency to overshare!
 
MadCatLady said:
I realise I never sent a picture of my beautiful Misty. I've had her 4.5 years and she was an absolutely terrified rescue cat when I first got her. She'd experienced trauma and hid under the bed and hissed at me, but she's now very happy and a brilliant companion. She's not really a lap cat, but the night of my diagnosis she sat on my lap and must have known I needed some comfort. I still say my cat is my best therapist and instead of asking questions she just sits with me and accepts me!
A dear friend last week very wisely said that the diagnosis and report (which is very negative and full of errors) has served it's purpose and should now be put away and ignored. I think she is probably right, but I have a strong moral compass and having a report that isn't even factually correct irks me.
Like you I've a lot to process, but finding NDSA feels a very positive step and I'm looking forward to meeting like minded people who are learning to view their neurodiversity positively. My first thought on being told I was probably autistic, was that I wanted to be like Greta Thunberg! I'm an environmentalist and she's one of my heros. And she's not letting her autism stop her, more like it's enabling her to achieve so much.
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Misty is beautiful! I actually used to have a cat called Misty too! I've attached a picture of her from 2006. She was a sweet little darling <3
I love how your Misty intuitively knew what you needed in the moment, and how she offers you her presence with love and care. I understand your feelings around the negative and factually incorrect report. It's hard for me to not feel cross when I see that something that is so personal (like a ND diagnosis assessment) containing blatant errors. The whole process is hard enough without being added to by what I see as carelessness. As I am not at my best these days, I lack tolerance and am quick to anger / irritation. I really do hope I begin to feel optimistic and positive again soon. I do love how your mind automatically went to Greta Thunberg when you first considered the possibility of being autistic! :D She is an incredible, formindable person for sure :)
 

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DLJ1972 said:
Misty is beautiful! I actually used to have a cat called Misty too! I've attached a picture of her from 2006. She was a sweet little darling <3
I love how your Misty intuitively knew what you needed in the moment, and how she offers you her presence with love and care. I understand your feelings around the negative and factually incorrect report. It's hard for me to not feel cross when I see that something that is so personal (like a ND diagnosis assessment) containing blatant errors. The whole process is hard enough without being added to by what I see as carelessness. As I am not at my best these days, I lack tolerance and am quick to anger / irritation. I really do hope I begin to feel optimistic and positive again soon. I do love how your mind automatically went to Greta Thunberg when you first considered the possibility of being autistic! :D She is an incredible, formindable person for sure :)
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I am seeing my GP later today for the first time since getting the report. I wish I'd been warned how much of the process would focus on my early childhood years. This whole episode started with flashbacks to my early school years and I have significant trauma which seems to mean either flashbacks or complete blanks in my memory. I was in care for a significant chunk of my preschool years and in an out of care the rest of my childhood due to parental mental health issues, my parents are now dead and my care notes destroyed and there was no one to ask. The questions were unanswerable and many irrelevant as they clearly weren't written for people growing up in the 60s and 70s. I put in an extra document to explain my context but it clearly wasn't read because she has put mother was well and there was clear evidence of childhood autism. I had no developmental delays and played alone in the context of a severely depressed mother with no energy to play with me or take me anywhere to interact we ith other children! And because I couldn't tell her I had a best friend at primary school, which was over 60 years ago she had put repeatedly that I've never had a best friend! It's not true and not helpful.
I'm apparently now experiencing grief, but I'm a good 8 on the enneagram, so they had better watch out when I recover, but as I'm appalled at the way newly diagnosed adults are treated by the NHS. I can't believe anyone would seek diagnosis as an adult without some level of trauma or mental health issues, but instead of offering additional support, it seems most are sidelined and the fact that only just over 20% are in any form of work speaks volumes. Many highly intelligent people unable to work due to prejudice, lack of mental health support and a lack of understanding from employers. I have a brilliant boss, but I'm only working 10 hours and couldn't do more at the moment. Pre menopause I had a really good job in science, but the wheels fell off and I've really struggled since. I'm still on HRT, which really helped and my GP wants me to come off, but I'm not going to allow this yet. I get no side effects and it made such a difference.