Autistic shame & Helplines

[dinodragon]

Hi everyone, I realised I'm Autistic nearly a year ago now. One thing I'm struggling with is feeling a lot of shame around how I am. The main things I would say are meltdowns, being awkward in a social situations and feeling stupid for not understanding certain things. Can people relate or have any advice? Any resources you've found helpful?

On a separate note, are there any UK helplines you've used that have been helpful?

 

[Rahere]

There reason you feel shame is the intolerance of the neurodiverse community, and so you are absolved, in Law (Equality Act 2010). The NeuroDiverse conditions are in general hidden disability. So you have the legal right to tell anyone "on your back" to get stuffed.

Meltdowns are unavoidable, and are caused by many things, which I think can be generalised as traumatic reflex or overload. The first has been proven to be a completely subconscious reflex (Lannius et al 2020), which goes nowhere near your cognitive cortex, so again you are absolved, the latter is a fugue caused by the neuroceptive feedback system (more specifically, Pavlov's Transmarginal Inhibition), which is in the cognitive domain, and can be stabilised by the use of lavender oil, latex or silicone (wristbands are popular) and cognitive suspension (weighted blankets fall in this area).

Our inability to read social signals is a matter of attunement. Like Mickey Mouse's famous car ride, I was fine until I looked down. They told me, incorrectly, I was Aspie (I'm Gifted, a different comms issue, I'm fine on your turf, but don't come onto mine), and it destroyed my confidence.

 

[Rahere]

Our brains are running with optional brakes, not brakes full on like most folks, and we have to learn how to use them. I spent a year in serious meditation on The Lord's Prayer (I was learning how to relate to the numinous as a very real element in my life) and it helped enormously in having a grounding mantra.

 

[Layla]

Hi everyone, I realised I'm Autistic nearly a year ago now. One thing I'm struggling with is feeling a lot of shame around how I am. The main things I would say are meltdowns, being awkward in a social situations and feeling stupid for not understanding certain things. Can people relate or have any advice? Any resources you've found helpful?

On a separate note, are there any UK helplines you've used that have been helpful?

Absolutely I’m in the same situation as you I was diagnosed a couple of years ago I’m 62 years old and now realise the reason I’ve been struggling through life. I feel I often get things wrong I don’t know the right way to go about them or the way other people just know. I don’t have anyone to ask apart from ChatGPT that helps a bit.