Late Diagnosed AuDHD Fulltime Mother (51) of Teen Boy AuDHD (17)

FreeToBeMe

FreeToBeMe

Debbie (Canadian)
Hello,
I received my late diagnosis of Autistic in Aug 2024 the same week as my 50th birthday. I knew I had autism approximately 7-8 years prior to assessment, but was struggling so much, I decided to get a diagnosis. I believe I have been in Autistic Burnout since 2022. Then I got the diagnosis of ADHD in Mar 2025 as a nice little cherry on top.

I have been the full time carer for my son since 2015 who was also diagnosed with ADHD at age 6 and Autism at age 9.

I have a daughter that is 34 and she received her diagnosis of ADHD in about 5 years ago.

I learned a lot about both ADHD and Autism from my children being diagnosed and I knew I had Autism even before my son was diagnosed, since 2016 or so. I am only aware now that due to sensory processing issues all my life the impact it has had in so many ways. Misdiagnosis and medication for depression, anxiety and post natal depression as well as extreme difficulty with exhaustion, cognitive issues and extreme mood issues during adolescence, pregnancies, monthly cycle and now peri-menopause/menopause has become apparent that it was due to my neurodivergence.

I haven't been able to work since 2023 and I have tried to learn as much as I can about my needs/traits, but the lack of support for late diagnosed woman has made it really difficult.

I am really glad to be here and I really hope I can participate in this programme and learn more about my needs and how to manage them.
 
TBH I found there is a lack of support full stop (apart from here) I got my ADHD diagnosed last October and the autism was diagnosed about 3 weeks ago, since then, next to zero support it shocking how little support is out there.
 
Unfortunately that is true. There are some post diagnostic support groups but a lot of them are paid for. There are some active national autism society branches which are active depending where you live.in Scotland they are running wider post diagnostic support sessions but nothing like that yet in England I’m aware of.
 
bluelyn said:
It's a repeating picture of no support, I've cycled burnout since 2013 , and I had a private diagnosis in 2023, but made to have it again by the NHS before service will be opened up to help me, I have to live permanently in headphones or I'm in permanent overwhelm

I had my assessment 2 and half weeks ago still waiting on the results so I can get my GP to refer me for support

CMHT discharged me dispite self harming with no stragities

And my last visit to the GP for a fit note she said how long do you need to rest and extended by fit note by three weeks, and didn't tick the box to say she wanted to see me again, that sent me into a spiral I'm only just coming out of

I don't believe any services are going to be open up for me when the NHS approved diagnosis comes in, I just don't believe there is anything out there designed to help and in the meantime I keep crashing out of work and currently been of 6 months and I don't see how I can improve the cycle
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I am so sorry to hear how much you have been struggling. I understand how difficult it is trying to access support and dealing with GP’s/Medical Professionals who don’t understand the lived experience of being Autistic (and ADHD). I hope you are finding support here with all the courses and support groups here for people with Autism. I found it very helpful understanding my autistic traits while I was taking the iAutistic course and I learned so much! Sending you all the best on your journey to finally being able to understand yourself and your needs and being able to love and accept yourself. I am trying to do the same and I know it is easier said than done, but I have faith and hope, because I know I am here for a reason and to his experience is guiding me in the direction I need to go. Xx
 
FreeToBeMe said:
Hello,
I received my late diagnosis of Autistic in Aug 2024 the same week as my 50th birthday. I knew I had autism approximately 7-8 years prior to assessment, but was struggling so much, I decided to get a diagnosis. I believe I have been in Autistic Burnout since 2022. Then I got the diagnosis of ADHD in Mar 2025 as a nice little cherry on top.

I have been the full time carer for my son since 2015 who was also diagnosed with ADHD at age 6 and Autism at age 9.

I have a daughter that is 34 and she received her diagnosis of ADHD in about 5 years ago.

I learned a lot about both ADHD and Autism from my children being diagnosed and I knew I had Autism even before my son was diagnosed, since 2016 or so. I am only aware now that due to sensory processing issues all my life the impact it has had in so many ways. Misdiagnosis and medication for depression, anxiety and post natal depression as well as extreme difficulty with exhaustion, cognitive issues and extreme mood issues during adolescence, pregnancies, monthly cycle and now peri-menopause/menopause has become apparent that it was due to my neurodivergence.

I haven't been able to work since 2023 and I have tried to learn as much as I can about my needs/traits, but the lack of support for late diagnosed woman has made it really difficult.

I am really glad to be here and I really hope I can participate in this programme and learn more about my needs and how to
Click to expand...

FreeToBeMe said:
Hello,
I received my late diagnosis of Autistic in Aug 2024 the same week as my 50th birthday. I knew I had autism approximately 7-8 years prior to assessment, but was struggling so much, I decided to get a diagnosis. I believe I have been in Autistic Burnout since 2022. Then I got the diagnosis of ADHD in Mar 2025 as a nice little cherry on top.

I have been the full time carer for my son since 2015 who was also diagnosed with ADHD at age 6 and Autism at age 9.

I have a daughter that is 34 and she received her diagnosis of ADHD in about 5 years ago.

I learned a lot about both ADHD and Autism from my children being diagnosed and I knew I had Autism even before my son was diagnosed, since 2016 or so. I am only aware now that due to sensory processing issues all my life the impact it has had in so many ways. Misdiagnosis and medication for depression, anxiety and post natal depression as well as extreme difficulty with exhaustion, cognitive issues and extreme mood issues during adolescence, pregnancies, monthly cycle and now peri-menopause/menopause has become apparent that it was due to my neurodivergence.

I haven't been able to work since 2023 and I have tried to learn as much as I can about my needs/traits, but the lack of support for late diagnosed woman has made it really difficult.

I am really glad to be here and I really hope I can participate in this programme and learn more about my needs and how to manage them.
Click to expand...
Debbie thanks for this post, I don't feel so alone reading it. I see you, sending love and power to you, you are amazing 💕