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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Willow" data-source="post: 1270" data-attributes="member: 220">Hi, I'm new to the forum, and have 2 children (one is autistic.) I am on a long NHS waiting list to find out whether I have Asperger's syndrome, but I had no idea I might be autistic until after my children were born.My biggest fear, with or without a diagnosis, has been that I might somehow mess up their lives. I'm forever reading books and reading articles about parenting and analysing my actions, but find it hard to be sure I am doing the right things. I've been struggling with anxiety and had to give up work because of stress, which hasn't exactly helped. If I had known I might be autistic before I had them, I might never have chosen to have children because I would have assumed I wouldn't be any good at it, but here I am, and I love them and can't imagine them not existing now. I want to do the best I can.My husband took years to accept my son's diagnosis, and doesn't accept that I might be autistic, so I can't really talk to him about it, (although he is kind enough in most other ways).I am hoping that if I do get a diagnosis that some sort of extra support might be available, but it feels like a long haul right now.</blockquote>