NT Assumptions and Language

Q

Quenza

New member
Hi, I'm new here!

I have a question that I would really like some opinions on. I work for the NHS and have had some ongoing work related issues that I won't go into. In a conversation I had with my manager the other day I was saying how most people don't realise how hard I have to work for things that they do without thinking, and how different I am. Her take was "isn't it good that no one sees your differences". I get that she was trying to be supportive, but it's really bothered me for some reason and I don't get why? Any thoughts?
 
I think it is hard for none NDs to understand the situation, if not impossible and it is likely just as hard to how to explain it to them form 'our' point of view. If they are supporting you, and I have heard that the NHS is really good for this, then go with it, there are so few supportive companies out there and to actually be employed by one is great. But, If they are so accepting, I am sure they would have little objection in you explaining, if you can, the difficulties you have with doing routine things.

But, only if you are comfortable and they would be understanding.
 
They are good in some ways, but there are other ways that they aren't and it's becoming more problematic. They seem to equate my autism to a mental health problem, and they is a lot of onus on me to 'develop strategies' and essentially make myself more NT, which is obviously not working! They are better at the bigger adjustments, but the smaller day to day stuff is an issue. And if I have someone tell me that "we are all a bit autistic" again I swear I won't be responsible for my actions!!!
 
I am going through the same at the moment, they wont accept my Autism as anything until I have a piece of paper saying so. I also have learning difficulties which have only recently been 'officially' diagnosed and a problem. They have sent me for CBT and it worked, at first, but now I seem to have hit a wall as far as that can go to help me. They say my dyslexia and dyscalculia can be managed with held, and it has go better, but my Autism kicks in and a slide begins.

I also thing that this might be due to the fact that many NDs are more prone to and WILL suffer from mental health issues, it is part of the territory I am afraid but they are not the same thing. The problem really is with make this well know, as one can lead to the other and make the first worse and there you have an never ending circle which is bloody hard to break out from.

I really get wound up when someone says "We are all a little bit Autistic" and had my TL once say this to me in a disciplinary meeeting. Although, in this case, she might be right and I think she is Autistic.
 
I find when someone says they don’t see my autism it makes me feel uncomfortable because they’re erasing an important part of me in a really gross way.

The ‘we’re all a bit autistic’ thing is nonsense and infuriating. Have you tried explaining what the spectrum actually means, that there’s a lot of variation in presentation of autistics, that it isn’t a bar going from NT to autistics with high support needs? As far as working with NTs, I can provide you with all sorts of sources about neurodiversity and ASD not being a mental health condition, but if they don’t want to learn that probably won’t help you.
 
I agree with you totally, you don't wear a hat saying "I am Autistic" or have a bell ringing over you head. Its a total lack of understanding.

The scales is a huge thing and there is no straight way of explaining it, the same with learning difficulties. Each case is 100% individual and totally different but because there are common elements all people of that type of seen the same., Some people can function of a high level, be geniuses but lack totally common sense, some might be somewhere in the middle and other might need constant support, is a little understanding too much.

I think assessments are a trigger as well, my current employers wont even entertain the notion before I have a piece of papers saying "Yes."
 
I find it all really hard- I'm relatively newly diagnosed (just over a year ago) and it's been both the best and worst thing. Best because I can finally make sense of why I am as I am (and my brain LOVES making sense of things) and worst because I'm still totally lost trying to come to terms with and handle it.

I feel like to my colleagues I'm still just me, and they don't recognise their idea of autism in me (late diagnosed female, masked all her life with periods of burnout scattered through) and I feel the need to explain. I've had some spectacular meltdowns at work, which have led to me being labelled rude and unprofessional, and I need people to understand that that isn't the case. But like you say, autism is so through every part of us I feel like I'm going on about it all the time, which I hate. But otherwise it's ignored and I'm assumed to be 'normal'. I don't feel like I can win
 
That is interesting to hear as I am coming from another angle, I have not been diagnosed yet. I have had issue all my life, didn't have the greatest childhood and didn't get anything from school, in fact, was excluded from most things but did o a few things, but, got nothing. Last year, when it was too late, got all the help ever thrown at me, as soon as I left school go some basic skills and Geology, then when I left, nothing. Didn't start working till mid 20s, had a few short jobs but all ended as I was "too slow". Played Sunday league football, even captained the team and went to league meeting but in the real world, I struggled. Bounced around, had a couple of job which last 3+ years them became a journeyman. Hit a 2 year+ unemployed period then another role for 2+ years. Bounced again until I ended up where I am. This job started well then started to tail off about two years ago.

What was the difference between the successful jobs and the not? Stats. How does my possible Autism fit to this? I can explain why I make odd mistakes it makes me obsess about them, when in turn make me down and lets in doubt which leads to making more mistakes. And then it is a never ending cycle. Like you said, my brain wants to know why I cant do these simple things when others can.

Do you find that with your colleagues, you find a few who you latch on to and others you ignore? I was devastated in my current role as I found one person I really liked as I saw a lot of me in how she acted, but, then she changed and we didn't get on and that was like a hammer blow and the cycle began again.

And I hear what you say, I have almost become obsessed with being Autistic and don't want it to become almost an excuse. |If people understood more it would be a lot better and, from what I have been reading, the figures are only going to rise due to the world we live in.