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Message: <blockquote data-quote="UnicornSpoon" data-source="post: 18285" data-attributes="member: 26">Hi JR,This is devastating. My heart is breaking for you. It's unthinkable that you spend a huge chunk of your life with someone, and then they turn around and change their mind. I'm horrified, and from what you've written it sounds like she didn't even explain herself thoroughly!I think it could be very helpful for you to seek therapy. See if the diazepam helps at all, give it two weeks, and if not go back to the GP. Stand up for yourself, be honest, explore treatment options. This will take time, but it will be worth it.I have been in a similar situation to you, completely obliterated mentally and emotionally by a major negative life change. I have considered shipping myself off, so to speak. I have attempted to act on it one time. I did not succeed. It was almost a decade ago, and now I'm a lot better and I'm glad I'm still here. I promise you, it will get better. Please stay with us on this earth. Whatever urge you feel, sleep on it for 3 days. Take those 3 days to do whatever you need to feel just a little bit better.I can absolutely guarantee you, you're not the only one flying through life without an instruction manual! There are countless people out there who also have no clue how to do life, no idea where they should go or what they should do next.But you deserve all of it, I promise. You deserve life, happiness, love, fulfilment, comfort, support, and so much more.My biggest advice for what exactly to do right now is: remove everything that reminds you of her. Photos, videos, messages, contacts, social media connections, gifts, personal items. Anything you find, no matter how big or small, get rid of it or purge or cleanse it as well as you can. If you have any Netflix or YouTube or Spotify or TikTok accounts, or any other accounts that you own that you shared with her, go in and change as many passwords as you can. Remove her likes, her lists, her subscriptions, her comments, her influences. If it's too much, abandon the accounts and make new ones. Don't forget to cancel any repeating card payments and remove your card details from the existing accounts! She has a right to purge you from her life, no matter how devastating it is to you, but you have the exact same right and the time to exercise it is now.You do not have to do all that right now, or today, or even this week, but for your own good I suggest you start as soon as possible.I'm not one to sugarcoat anything, so I promise you the next few weeks will suck, probably months as well, but if you stick with it and keep going, you'll emerge from hell and you'll be stronger for it.I'm so sorry you're suffering, but I know you can survive. You are strong, capable, intelligent, lovable, and somewhere out there your true dream girl is waiting for you. Consider looking further into our organisation and our website, see if there are any autistic support groups in your area. Go out there and exist, live a little."You can't get so hung up on where you'd rather be, that you forget to make the most of where you are." - Arthur the android from Passengers (2016)All the best,UnicornSpoon</blockquote>

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