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Message: <blockquote data-quote="DLJ1972" data-source="post: 13483" data-attributes="member: 8726">Hello <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile    :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />I've been quite nervous to introduce myself, but I've just read a few threads and was pleasantly surprised to see how lovely and supportive people were to each other. So, here goes. My name is Deborah / Debs. I was diagnosed several months ago with ADHD. I am also perimenopausal, and have been taking anti-depressants for most of my adult life due to struggling with anxiety and depression, also for most of my life. I experienced a lot of childhood trauma & neglect, and I have previously been diagnosed with CPTSD. I have spent much of my life in therapy and working so hard to "fix myself", but the past few years my struggles have felt more difficult to manage and my resilience feels so much less. I am currently changing from one anti-depressant to another, and have spent the last 5 months trying different ADHD medications, none of which helped (stimulants made me unbearably anxious).Right now, my main struggle is one of confusion, frustration and exhaustion. I am currently awaiting an autism assessment after a recommendation from my therapist. I was asked to complete autism training at work approximately 4 weeks ago, so I could learn how to best support autistic colleagues and visitors, and I was shocked and upset learning about ASD as I could relate so much to it and also relate it to members of my family who have now passed away. I continued to look into ASD and neurodivergence further, and I came across an AUDHD information sheet which described me and my constant, contradictory and conflicting daily struggles. This "learning" has impacted me greatly. I feel overwhelmed with confusion and a huge range of emotions. Learning "my truth" has always been so important to me as I have often found knowing how I feel and what I want difficult to understand. I have also encountered people saying things like ADHD and ASD don't really exist etc and I've found myself isolating myself a bit as a way of protecting myself at this time. I would like to talk to people who really know about AUDHD so I can learn and hopefully begin to understand myself a bit more. If I do have ADHD and ASD then I will need support to help me process that and work out ways in which I can go forward with a lifestyle that supports me rather than depleting me. I feel very depleted right now. I also feel that I am potentially in the process of really discovering who I am and how I have managed myself so much over the years as a way of surviving as a child and fitting in as an adult while always also trying to keep myself separate due to not feeling like I belonged and that people don't really want me there. I have always thought this was related to CPTSD, and maybe it is. But, right now I am thinking it maybe more than that. Sincere apologies; I feel like all I've done is waffle on. Kindest regardsDebs</blockquote>

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