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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Loubie" data-source="post: 11863" data-attributes="member: 5456">Hi RahereJust going to share this for info not because I'm blowing smoke up my own backside <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing    :rofl:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f923.png" data-shortname=":rofl:" /> What I'm about to share isn't really relevant to who I am now, and you'll see why when I explain, as I can partly relate to this group, partly not. Also I masked heavily my intelligence most of my life as well, because I was often ostracised or bullied for it. And as a social-being that was a very lonely place to be. I feel like hiding myself in that way also contributed to my mental decline, because I simply wasn't using what I had since around 16-18 years old. I did have a decent career in finance after I rebuilt things, but ultimately that made me very ill long term as was too much for me too. Now I haven't worked for 6 years and struggle to look after myself on a basic level day to day.I was in the Gifted group as a youngster/teen. Sadly brain fog and autistic burnout started for me after trauma/loss around the time of leaving secondary school, and got increasingly worse ever since to the point my brain feels pretty useless now. It turns out now that I've likely been in low level autistic burnout with fibromyalgia/ME/CFS since then and didn't know, until the brain fog, pain and fatigue got increasingly crippling the last few years.I also was told I didn't have the "discipline" to follow through and utilise it as much as I "should have done" (apparently, but actually turns out that was down to exec function issues re undiagnosed adhd and energy conservation, I didn't even realise I was doing subconsciously, appearing like laziness because I just had nothing left to give in terms of "doing"). Hence even now my parents tell me I'm a disappointment, referring to the fact I dropped out of 6th form as couldn't cope/didn't have any support or knowledge about my conditions, but was my school's Oxbridge candidate.I won awards for my GCSE results without studying for my exams that I got 100% in for example, my coursework was based on PHD level theory that hadn't even been taught yet, for no other reason than I felt like it, it was unnecessary but got me 100% marks and some shiny trophies <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy    :joy:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f602.png" data-shortname=":joy:" /> Other things were creative for me as well as academic like winning the poetry competitions without really trying, and being able to teach myself any instrument I fancied (clarinet, guitar, flute, violin, trombone, piano).There were loads of other examples I could give but I just don't have the processing capacity to remember, nor the energy to write or read much due to pretty severe cognitive overload. I have to admit I couldn't read all your message because they are long and my brain gets tired after reading a couple of paragraphs. More so if those paragraphs feel complex and/or abstract. It's like my brain has the blue circle of doom like my laptop with hardly any processing resources left.Oh just remembered I took computers apart and put them back together and taught myself to code when I was 8. And when I was 6, I knew the square root of 65,536 was 256. Again for no reason than I loved knowing things and seeking/identifying patterns etc <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="🤓" title="Nerd face    :nerd:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f913.png" data-shortname=":nerd:" />Sadly a lot of what I knew and could do has disintegrated from my brain over the years.Oh how different my life could have been if I had known what I needed and had that in place!Thanks for setting up this thread.LPs. I also no longer read through/tweak my messages multiple times, and I mostly leave my typos, grammatical and punctuation errors in, because that takes up energy I'd like to save for more important things. I just hope others can translate <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy    :joy:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/8.0/png/unicode/64/1f602.png" data-shortname=":joy:" /></blockquote>

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