Dealing with family

O

OliviaSB

New member
Has anyone else experienced family members/people they live with not following/bending lockdown rules? One of my parents who relatively recently moved back in with me and my other parent continually meets up with people outside of our household. She says it’s ok because they’re outside but I’ve seen people walking ‘2 meters apart’ outside and they rarely keep to the right distance. They also stay out for a long longer than an hours exercise. It really upsets me to see the rules broken, but I can also see there might be some background anger about the situation between me and my parents. I know that it comes off like I am trying to control people. My parent gets very upset and cries about feeling judged and says they can’t do it without contact, even though their brother is in our support bubble and they have me and my siblings. What I want to know is should I just mask it and not say anything, or how can I try to be a bit more tolerant and communicate my reasons for feeling uncomfortable a bit better? Otherwise it is unbearable living together
 
Why don't you try to explain it to them just like you did above, that it upsets you and makes it unbearable?
I think it would cause you mental health problems if you just 'mask' it. Try to negotiate an arrangement with them.
 
I wouldn’t mask it. I would suggest stating that it causes you a lot of distress to see the rules broken, and reminding them that this isn’t forever, it’s just until enough people have their jabs that it’s safe to loosen restrictions again. If they simply must go out of your support bubble, I would suggest asking them to social distance properly and obey all relevant restrictions.
 
I have done this and it did seem to work yesterday, it just seems to be a daily thing where I have to say it. But maybe I need to try and explain this more to then. I hope maybe they will get into a routine where they don’t think they need to go out all the time to be engaged. Does anyone else have such a strong sense of injustice? My family always talk me down over it.
 
OliviaSB said:
I have done this and it did seem to work yesterday, it just seems to be a daily thing where I have to say it. But maybe I need to try and explain this more to then. I hope maybe they will get into a routine where they don’t think they need to go out all the time to be engaged. Does anyone else have such a strong sense of injustice? My family always talk me down over it.
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I also have a strong sense of injustice, but I’m not convinced that that’s a bad thing.
 
OliviaSB said:
Has anyone else experienced family members/people they live with not following/bending lockdown rules? One of my parents who relatively recently moved back in with me and my other parent continually meets up with people outside of our household. She says it’s ok because they’re outside but I’ve seen people walking ‘2 meters apart’ outside and they rarely keep to the right distance. They also stay out for a long longer than an hours exercise. It really upsets me to see the rules broken, but I can also see there might be some background anger about the situation between me and my parents. I know that it comes off like I am trying to control people. My parent gets very upset and cries about feeling judged and says they can’t do it without contact, even though their brother is in our support bubble and they have me and my siblings. What I want to know is should I just mask it and not say anything, or how can I try to be a bit more tolerant and communicate my reasons for feeling uncomfortable a bit better? Otherwise it is unbearable living together
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I would anonymously report them but declare less than actuall since is ‘hear say’ anyway you weren’t there so not lying you can’t be sure , but declare you tried explaining new rules to them and they seem to have it wrong ( here is where you cite the new rules) adding maybe I m at fault - when asked what you want them to do ( since you won’t help them get busted in the act / too extreme ) say you d like them to phone them or pay a home visit to explain the rules and conveniences of breaking them coming from an officer of the law and then law abiding citizen with much respect for authority they will immediately understand the new rules. You heard them talking as if it would be permitted to do such and such and you make this declaration only because you are afraid they might unknowingly contact the virus and spread it if they did not understand right. The tv hoața ca-n ne confusing and eberyinevis S-o opiniinated theseays... YOU just want them clarified and on The safes ode of the law like both of them hardly tried to be all their lives.
 
I hope my answer will be read as a potential script. My goal was to try and find a practical solution not involving you , not punishing them , but reinstating the law so you won’t argue with them , and the most important thing : them staying safe and keeping you safe who is obviously following the rules: I reckon something needs done or it s just not fair others taking risks and you taking COVID on their misinformed lack of care or just different view on what’s permitted and not. You could actually please to remain anonymous and the officers to play it like s random visitit to enforce the awareness of the new laws saying the last thing you want to do is make your family upset thinking you wanted to give them a scare under these scary by default times . Besides they didn’t actually did anything wrong but were discussing whether such and such would be appropriate and you worry for those you love.
 
I can’t do that with my family . I can see the bigger pictures with others. With mine I argue till I win or say ok fine lest open giv.Uk . Not clear enough lest calll 111 see what they say. No one likes me. I do though. I get results .:)) apologies if I suggested something abbominable .
 
I think I have now after quite a few discussions convinced them we all need to follow the rules and things feel a lot easier this week. I just wish they did it in the first place not because I spent so much energy on it.