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Message: <blockquote data-quote="Camel" data-source="post: 13611" data-attributes="member: 5378">Dear Lovely Cat Lady,And now I’m crying too! I really didn’t mean to have that effect on you. I’m sorry!It does bring it all back. I am eternally grateful to the nurses, like you, who did show me such compassion and care. Kindness comes in all forms. Some nights it was that cup of tea and a slice of egg custard saved from the patients dinner trolley, (which would probably get you sacked now!), that got me through. The canteen would have been shut for hours, just “food” in a vending machine to eat on your own. That someone had thought of you made all the difference.I think what was so hard for me was having to hide all this emotion and pain whilst physically exhausted, sleep deprived and masking my undiagnosed Autism and ADHD. To try to appear strong and confident when I felt the the polar opposite inside. To never be able to show any frailty or vulnerability for fear of ridicule and the "non reference" when applying for the next job. To not understand why I was finding this all so difficult was beyond my understanding. I couldn’t even talk to my GP about how I felt for fear of this being on my notes, that’s if I even had one…… I’d probably forgotten to register with one anyway with all the moving from hospital to hospital.With the 20/20 vision of hindsight, that came with my AuDHD diagnosis, I see that I was the wrong person, with the wrong neurotype, in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was not a chance that this would work.Thank you for sharing the photo of your friend and mentor. Her smile is amazing…..(and I know all about smiles as I also qualified as a Dentist before studying Medicine!) Amazing woman to smile like that through all her pain. I liked your work from the retreat and, with your permission, I’m going to adopt your moto of "learn to be the person I’m meant to be". I’m not 100% certain who I’m meant to be yet, but I’m headed in the right direction.I’m so pleased to have met you. You’ve given me permission to talk about some of the things that have troubled me most from my past life…and to vicariously thank all the nurses from my past who did so much to support me when things we really bad. Again I’m sorry if I caused you to be upset. When you next see your friend, you have my permission to tell my story and tell her just how much both of you will have helped others in the same position as me. On behalf of them all, "Thank you for caring and looking out for us".I never know where these threads are going to go, but they are always interesting and take unexpected turns. Thank you for you contributions. It has helped me more than you can know.Best wishes,Wade</blockquote>

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