Deep interests/Passions/Flow activites

[Camel]

Hi Bethany

Thanks for starting this thread.

It made me think about about what goes on in my AuDHD brain. I’d be interested to know if this rings true for anyone else.

I have had more passionate interests than I can remember. They become all consuming at first, I buy every piece of equipment associated with it. I do it in every possible spare moment. I’ll research the living daylights out of it. Then one of two things happens:

1. I get “reasonably good” at it, try to find the most difficult and challenging aspects, don’t find it stimulating enough and invariably get distracted by something else or

2. Pour huge amounts of time, money and effort into it, get frustrated and annoyed with myself, then, after months and months of trying, realise I’m not going to become “reasonably good” and then get distracted by something else!

In no particular order my passionate interests have been:

Herpetology…reptiles and amphibians. Had a meltdown to beat all melt downs aged 7 when my mother refused to buy me a real live crocodile!
Dinosaurs
Fossils
Skeletons
Airfix model 2nd world war models mostly.
Wood turning…..2 lathes, boxes of tools and enough wood to build an ark still cluttering my garage. Unused in 3 years.
Wood carving
Canoeing
making Canadian canoe paddles
Making wooden canoes…..2 hanging up in my garage. Unused in 5 years.
Scuba diving
Photography…..I have at least 10 cameras from 40 years of trying to be a great photographer. I never learn and still keep buying them!
Underwater photography…like terrestrial photography wasn’t hard enough I had to add the risk of drowning!
Mountain Biking. Still have 4 bikes in the garage.
Road cycling
Carnivorous plant
Growing fruit and vegetables
Bonsai trees
Knitting
Painting. Every medium you can think of I’ve had a go.
Kinsugi….repairing broken pottery using an ancient Japanese method employing resins and gold powder.
Origami
Cross country skiing
Fell running
Weightlifting
Rock climbing
The entire works of Kurt Vonnegut
Baking Sourdough bread

By no means is this exhaustive, but I think you are getting the general picture.
At the moment It’s gardening, Bonsai trees and painting…….and researching all things neurodivergent.

I don’t know how to stay focused on one interest. My Autistic brain is screaming for bit of peace and quiet. (Not much chance of that). My ADHD brain is always off on manoeuvres to find the next brief dopamine hit!

For most of my life I thought this was “normal”. I thought everyone had lots of interests and hobbies and would spend days totally absorbed in them. I’ve only recently learned this is not the case at all. This is very much the AuDHD approach to hobbies and interests.

I’m fascinated to see where this thread goes.

Wade

 

[Joeys]

*Great idea for a thread*
Current obsessions (Arty): Needle felting, watercolour, hard dry clay moulding, photography.
Current obsessions (Non arty): Inline skating, charity shopping, reading, collecting skate shoes.
Current obsessions (Other): Komodo dragons, houseplants, rescue animals, nature.
Joey.

 

[Camel]

*Great idea for a thread*
Current obsessions (Arty): Needle felting, watercolour, hard dry clay moulding, photography.
Current obsessions (Non arty): Inline skating, charity shopping, reading, collecting skate shoes.
Current obsessions (Other): Komodo dragons, houseplants, rescue animals, nature.

Hi Joeys

100% shared the Komodo dragon interest as kid. My mother wouldn’t let me have one of these either!

Wade

 

[Joeys]

Hi Joeys

100% shared the Komodo dragon interest as kid. My mother wouldn’t let me have one of these either!

Wade

Hey Wade. You are the first person to say that?! I watched a programme with Steve Backshall 'Deadly 60'. There were a couple of episodes and I was genuinely mesmerized. Not the fluffy, cuddly, cool but we have dogs and cats for that. You could have raised an Iguana in the hope it would grow

 

[Camel]

Hi Joeys

I did have a western green lizard as a pet and a grass snake (not in the same terrarium). I’m still incredibly excited if I see reptiles and amphibians in the wild any place I happen to be. I’m sure this comes from my childhood passion. Sadly they appear to be very much in decline, particularly in the UK.

Im lucky to have a colony of palmate newts living in and around my pond. Not quite crocs or Komodo dragons, but still fascinating, amazing animals. I share your passion for nature. Being in nature and observing natural processes definitely helps to restore me when the rest of life is getting too much.

I think that is the most important part of our passionate interests, whatever they may be. They restore us. They are our safe places, where we can be ourselves, completely unaware of everything else going on around us. No masking, hyper focused. Autistic joy!

I’ve noticed that I often try to link my passionate interests. Like you, I’m a watercolourist, so the subjects I paint always reflect one of my other interests, so for example I’ll paint plants, fruit or vegetables I’ve grown. I get to really look in detail and also have the challenge and joy of working with pigments, water and paper. I find the whole process of working with different materials, how they feel and watching how they interact, works like a stim. It definitely makes me feel calmer and emotionally grounded.

I agree. An excellent topic to discuss. It’s great to focus on the good stuff too. Definitely one of the best aspects of my Autism.

Wade

 

[Joeys]

Hi Joeys

I did have a western green lizard as a pet and a grass snake (not in the same terrarium). I’m still incredibly excited if I see reptiles and amphibians in the wild any place I happen to be. I’m sure this comes from my childhood passion. Sadly they appear to be very much in decline, particularly in the UK.

Im lucky to have a colony of palmate newts living in and around my pond. Not quite crocs or Komodo dragons, but still fascinating, amazing animals. I share your passion for nature. Being in nature and observing natural processes definitely helps to restore me when the rest of life is getting too much.

I think that is the most important part of our passionate interests, whatever they may be. They restore us. They are our safe places, where we can be ourselves, completely unaware of everything else going on around us. No masking, hyper focused. Autistic joy!

I’ve noticed that I often try to link my passionate interests. Like you, I’m a watercolourist, so the subjects I paint always reflect one of my other interests, so for example I’ll paint plants, fruit or vegetables I’ve grown. I get to really look in detail and also have the challenge and joy of working with pigments, water and paper. I find the whole process of working with different materials, how they feel and watching how they interact, works like a stim. It definitely makes me feel calmer and emotionally grounded.

I agree. An excellent topic to discuss. It’s great to focus on the good stuff too. Definitely one of the best aspects of my Autism.

Wade

Completely agree, I see it as natural television. Newts are very cool, we don't have the habitat on the heaths/woods near me I don't think?! It is autistic joy. Since my diagnosis all I seem to remember is people who have tried to change me. You know when no one can change me when I'm on my own enjoying a new subject. I like watercolour for that reason. Especially landscapes I'm rubbish at portraits and or drawing. Grounding is everything. Its the only thing that works. I take off my shoes/socks no matter the weather and I stand on the grass until my agitation has subsided a little. Thanks for writing the above, its made me remember what is so good opposed to people always trying to put you down.

 

[Camel]

Completely agree, I see it as natural television. Newts are very cool, we don't have the habitat on the heaths/woods near me I don't think?! It is autistic joy. Since my diagnosis all I seem to remember is people who have tried to change me. You know when no one can change me when I'm on my own enjoying a new subject. I like watercolour for that reason. Especially landscapes I'm rubbish at portraits and or drawing. Grounding is everything. Its the only thing that works. I take off my shoes/socks no matter the weather and I stand on the grass until my agitation has subsided a little. Thanks for writing the above, its made me remember what is so good opposed to people always trying to put you down.

Hi Joeys

I know Bethany well. I’m sure this is why she started this thread. She wants to remind us all that being Autistic has some really positive aspects. The way we engage with the world can be joyful. Our interests bring us joy. How amazing it is that we can see and experience so much that the majority of people never even realise is there.

I was interested in what you said about your painting. I was wondering when we start to take on board other peoples ideas of what is “good” or “bad” or “rubbish”. All children love painting, drawing and making things. They love the process, just being present, seeing what the materials can do, experimenting and creating something new. Then someone criticises their work. They start to believe it and then disengage from an activity which they loved. Paint what you want to paint, paint anyway that brings you pleasure, ignore other people’s judgement………that’s my philosophy!
.
For me it’s all about process not result. I will often just take a piece of paper, wet it and drop paint onto it, move it with a brush, see how it bleeds into another colour, notice how it changes as it dries. It’s doodling with paint. I find it really calming. No expectation, no aim, just enjoying seeing what happens. I’ve known about this calming effect of painting ever since I can remember. My parents noticed it and used it all the time to help me regulate my emotions.

Unfortunately we live in a time when everything has to be productive and every thing produced is up for judgement. I refuse to engage with this anymore especially with my passionate interests.

So, keep painting, keep enjoying your passions. Ignore the naysayers!

Wade

 

[Joeys]

I’m glad she did. I didn’t mean to bring the tone down, it’s just lovely to have people to discuss our passions and enjoyments. At times around others you can slip into the version you knew not the version you are. Thank you Bethany.

That’s a really good question regarding (good, bad or rubbish). Mine started from when my grandad didn’t want me to write with my left hand. He was from a generation where there was something wrong with you if you didn’t write with your right hand. As it turns out - there’s wasn’t anything wrong but lots right I just didn’t know at the time.

Indeed. If you think something is good, bad or indifferent that doesn’t matter as long as you are enjoying yourself. I knew I wouldn’t be an artist in the professional sense but you try telling me I’m not when I’m having fun with watercolour. I’m landscape artist of the year every picture lol

Process not result! Yes. I am aware AI is growing but it can’t recreate my hand on the page (just yet) great chatting.

 

[MadCatLady]

I'm new to all this but I guess one of my deep passions is wool/yarn. I love to knit and crochet and have an amazing wool shop just over the hill from me where I attend knit and natter sessions getting creative ideas from what other people are doing. The wonderful shop owner delivered free of charge during Covid and did more for my mental health than anything else! I love to learn new skills and branch out adapting patterns etc. I get very frustrated when people ask me to knit squares etc as my crafting is creative expression and I get bored doing the same thing over again. I did also start volunteering at a local heritage wool mill learning to spin on the historic machines (I live in Devon in what was once a major sheep/wool area), but due to burnout have had to pause that.
Knitting and crochet are very calming meditative activities and I always say if it is giving you pleasure your skill level is irrelevant, though I admit I'm quite advanced and like new challenges. Being in burnout but normally being quite an achievement orientated person it's so helpful to have something to show for the low energy weeks when I've done very little. I do commissions, and have made jumpers etc for all the lovely friends and neighbours who have supported me over a very difficult year culminating in discovering and coming to terms with my being autistic.

 

[Ajax]

SCIFI be it books or films, gamingbe it DND or board games or computer based since the 70's and I'am a half decent beatboxer

 

[Camel]

I’m glad she did. I didn’t mean to bring the tone down, it’s just lovely to have people to discuss our passions and enjoyments. At times around others you can slip into the version you knew not the version you are. Thank you Bethany.

That’s a really good question regarding (good, bad or rubbish). Mine started from when my grandad didn’t want me to write with my left hand. He was from a generation where there was something wrong with you if you didn’t write with your right hand. As it turns out - there’s wasn’t anything wrong but lots right I just didn’t know at the time.

Indeed. If you think something is good, bad or indifferent that doesn’t matter as long as you are enjoying yourself. I knew I wouldn’t be an artist in the professional sense but you try telling me I’m not when I’m having fun with watercolour. I’m landscape artist of the year every picture lol

Process not result! Yes. I am aware AI is growing but it can’t recreate my hand on the page (just yet) great chatting.

Hi Joeys

You haven’t brought the tone down at all. Making is innate to us all as human beings. Capitalism has done an excellent job of disenfranchising us from ourselves and our abilities in order to control and make money from us. (Now who’s bringing the tone down?).

There is going to be a huge backlash against AI. We want to see the mark of the maker, the thumb print in the clay, the sand blown onto the fresh paint of a plein air impressionist.

Do you have some favourite painters? I love David Hockney and George Shaw. They see beauty in the “everyday” things that most people just walk past. I love that. Makes me feel I’m not alone.

Lovely to chat. Thanks again to Bethany. Just thinking about all this and talking with people with passion makes me feel good.

Wade

 

[Camel]

I'm new to all this but I guess one of my deep passions is wool/yarn. I love to knit and crochet and have an amazing wool shop just over the hill from me where I attend knit and natter sessions getting creative ideas from what other people are doing. The wonderful shop owner delivered free of charge during Covid and did more for my mental health than anything else! I love to learn new skills and branch out adapting patterns etc. I get very frustrated when people ask me to knit squares etc as my crafting is creative expression and I get bored doing the same thing over again. I did also start volunteering at a local heritage wool mill learning to spin on the historic machines (I live in Devon in what was once a major sheep/wool area), but due to burnout have had to pause that.
Knitting and crochet are very calming meditative activities and I always say if it is giving you pleasure your skill level is irrelevant, though I admit I'm quite advanced and like new challenges. Being in burnout but normally being quite an achievement orientated person it's so helpful to have something to show for the low energy weeks when I've done very little. I do commissions, and have made jumpers etc for all the lovely friends and neighbours who have supported me over a very difficult year culminating in discovering and coming to terms with my being autistic.

Hi (I find it hard to use your online name, I hate to call anyone mad. You are definitely not mad!)

I really understand your passion and the deep pleasure you get from using your hands and creativity. Compared to you I’m a novice, but I have found great solace in knitting at various times in my life. My late mother taught me to knit when I was 4 or 5, so there is also a deep emotional connection to the activity.

I’m interested in how gendered our passions can be. As a man, knitting often gets you very negative comments. You have to do it in a private safe space. I wonder how many of us have to hide our passions for fear of being further ridiculed.

From what you say, I feel that your identity and self esteem is closely connected to your passion for knitting. I can also identify with this. It’s important that we feel that we are good at something, particularly when we have had so many negative things said about us all our lives. It’s also very rewarding when we can give something we have made back to people who have shown us kindness and support when we need it.

Be kind to yourself in burnout. Give yourself time. Keep knitting yourself back to health and wellbeing!

Wade

 

[Joeys]

Hi Joeys

You haven’t brought the tone down at all. Making is innate to us all as human beings. Capitalism has done an excellent job of disenfranchising us from ourselves and our abilities in order to control and make money from us. (Now who’s bringing the tone down?).

There is going to be a huge backlash against AI. We want to see the mark of the maker, the thumb print in the clay, the sand blown onto the fresh paint of a plein air impressionist.

Do you have some favourite painters? I love David Hockney and George Shaw. They see beauty in the “everyday” things that most people just walk past. I love that. Makes me feel I’m not alone.

Lovely to chat. Thanks again to Bethany. Just thinking about all this and talking with people with passion makes me feel good.

Wade

Wade,
At the moment I really like Alice Boggis-Rolfe's work. I have no favourites but I'm really interested in Scottish landscape artists as the scenery, similar to North Wales just blows my mind. I think that's where ill end up in a little croft just me the sheep and the chickens.
Joey.

 

[Camel]

Wade,
At the moment I really like Alice Boggis-Rolfe's work. I have no favourites but I'm really interested in Scottish landscape artists as the scenery, similar to North Wales just blows my mind. I think that's where ill end up in a little croft just me the sheep and the chickens.
Joey.

Hi Joeys,

Not an artist I’m familiar with. I had a look at some of her paintings on line. I like them a lot. I’ll keep an eye out for her in future.

You appear to be cohabiting my personal fantasy. Perhaps I’ll get the neighbouring Croft. I’ll grow the veg and do a swop for some eggs.

Wade

 

[MadCatLady]

Hi (I find it hard to use your online name, I hate to call anyone mad. You are definitely not mad!)

I really understand your passion and the deep pleasure you get from using your hands and creativity. Compared to you I’m a novice, but I have found great solace in knitting at various times in my life. My late mother taught me to knit when I was 4 or 5, so there is also a deep emotional connection to the activity.

I’m interested in how gendered our passions can be. As a man, knitting often gets you very negative comments. You have to do it in a private safe space. I wonder how many of us have to hide our passions for fear of being further ridiculed.

From what you say, I feel that your identity and self esteem is closely connected to your passion for knitting. I can also identify with this. It’s important that we feel that we are good at something, particularly when we have had so many negative things said about us all our lives. It’s also very rewarding when we can give something we have made back to people who have shown us kindness and support when we need it.

Be kind to yourself in burnout. Give yourself time. Keep knitting yourself back to health and wellbeing!

Wade

I didn't really think when I set up my profile name and as I'm about to start the pathway course I can't change it at the moment. I'd just been through a very traumatic diagnosis process and jokingly thought as I'm 61, I'll accept my autism and embrace being a mad cat lady. I even wrote this at the end of my assessment forms, but the psychiatrist didn't have a sense of humour or seemingly much humanity. It's only 6 weeks ago and I'm still recovering from the trauma and shock. Until last November I had no idea I might be autistic and I admit I was pretty ignorant as to what it was.

You shouldn't have to hide your love of knitting. Cara who owns my local wool shop said she had so many new male customers during Covid, she nearly set up a group for them. And we have had men come and knit with us over the years. I'm currently in burn out and really struggle to get out, but I used to take knitting with me on walks and sit on the beach knitting etc. And back in the days when I did long train journeys I would often knit and enjoy the views.

For my 60th birthday I asked some friends to buy me a fantastic book called Viking knits and the designer is male and models the jumpers, along with his wife.

I was fortunate to go to a very forward thinking comprehensive and back in the 70s we did woodwork, metalwork, sewing etc all in mixed groups. The boys really enjoyed sewing and I thoroughly enjoyed learning lathe work and woodwork joints etc. It's so sad that prejudices spoil our enjoyment of activities because of our gender.

Here is one of the latest fun projects, a coat for Coco the dog belonging to a wonderful friend who lives across the road. I think she looks rather fetching in it, and I really enjoyed the fair isle pattern matching.

I'm trying to be kind to myself,but I am very frustrated as I enter my second year of not being myself and having to accept my limitations.

 

[Camel]

I didn't really think when I set up my profile name and as I'm about to start the pathway course I can't change it at the moment. I'd just been through a very traumatic diagnosis process and jokingly thought as I'm 61, I'll accept my autism and embrace being a mad cat lady. I even wrote this at the end of my assessment forms, but the psychiatrist didn't have a sense of humour or seemingly much humanity. It's only 6 weeks ago and I'm still recovering from the trauma and shock. Until last November I had no idea I might be autistic and I admit I was pretty ignorant as to what it was.

You shouldn't have to hide your love of knitting. Cara who owns my local wool shop said she had so many new male customers during Covid, she nearly set up a group for them. And we have had men come and knit with us over the years. I'm currently in burn out and really struggle to get out, but I used to take knitting with me on walks and sit on the beach knitting etc. And back in the days when I did long train journeys I would often knit and enjoy the views.

For my 60th birthday I asked some friends to buy me a fantastic book called Viking knits and the designer is male and models the jumpers, along with his wife.

I was fortunate to go to a very forward thinking comprehensive and back in the 70s we did woodwork, metalwork, sewing etc all in mixed groups. The boys really enjoyed sewing and I thoroughly enjoyed learning lathe work and woodwork joints etc. It's so sad that prejudices spoil our enjoyment of activities because of our gender.

Here is one of the latest fun projects, a coat for Coco the dog belonging to a wonderful friend who lives across the road. I think she looks rather fetching in it, and I really enjoyed the fair isle pattern matching.

I'm trying to be kind to myself,but I am very frustrated as I enter my second year of not being myself and having to accept my limitations.

Dear Lovely Cat Lady

I didn’t think either, so I’ve ended up using an obscure prog rock band, Camel, as my nom de plume. It not quite as bad as the tattoo you get when your 18, stupid and drunk. You can at least change it at some point without recourse to a laser!

Can I commiserate with your diagnostic experience. I’m also in my 60s and was diagnosed just over a year ago. I found the ADOS assessment humiliating and infantilising. It undoubtedly contributed to my last burn out. Fortunately things have improved a lot for me. Well done on staying the course and getting the assessment and the result that will help you going forward. Well done on getting on the Pathway course. I’ve just completed it. It has been nothing short of transformational for me and so many others. I hope you have a great experience and make those all important connections with the other neurodivergent people on the course. I honestly don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t happened upon NDSA and their Pathway course. (It can be quite intensive and requires commitment, but you will benefit, so stay with it even if it seems too much).There is pretty much no NHS support for us late diagnosed Autistics. We are just left to fend for ourselves. You are definitely in the right place now.

Undoubtedly your neighbour has the best dressed pooch in town! Coco looks very dapper. Thanks for sharing.

I will try and be out and proud with my pins from now on.

Keep well, it will get better,

Wade

P. S. Let me know how you get on on the pathway course. I’m interested you know what other people think about it.

 

[MadCatLady]

Dear Lovely Cat Lady

I didn’t think either, so I’ve ended up using an obscure prog rock band, Camel, as my nom de plume. It not quite as bad as the tattoo you get when your 18, stupid and drunk. You can at least change it at some point without recourse to a laser!

Can I commiserate with your diagnostic experience. I’m also in my 60s and was diagnosed just over a year ago. I found the ADOS assessment humiliating and infantilising. It undoubtedly contributed to my last burn out. Fortunately things have improved a lot for me. Well done on staying the course and getting the assessment and the result that will help you going forward. Well done on getting on the Pathway course. I’ve just completed it. It has been nothing short of transformational for me and so many others. I hope you have a great experience and make those all important connections with the other neurodivergent people on the course. I honestly don’t know where I’d be if I hadn’t happened upon NDSA and their Pathway course. (It can be quite intensive and requires commitment, but you will benefit, so stay with it even if it seems too much).There is pretty much no NHS support for us late diagnosed Autistics. We are just left to fend for ourselves. You are definitely in the right place now.

Undoubtedly your neighbour has the best dressed pooch in town! Coco looks very dapper. Thanks for sharing.

I will try and be out and proud with my pins from now on.

Keep well, it will get better,

Wade

P. S. Let me know how you get on on the pathway course. I’m interested you know what other people think about it.

Thank you.
Firstly, I don't even know how I stumbled upon NDSA, but it is undoubtedly the most useful organisation I have found do far and I can't quite believe my luck.

I really don't think asking a 61 year old with CPTSD and considerable childhood trauma endless impossible to answer questions about early childhood is helpful or useful. I don't have any living parents, or care notes (I was in and out of care) to refer to and had to use a long term friend from my 30s who also has no knowledge of my childhood or family as an informant. Autism was suggested in my efforts to get help with my trauma symptoms. I was already in burnout, but my diagnosis experience has traumatised me and taken me to a new level.

The one redeeming feature at present is my part time job and an outstanding boss. We had a training session in October about neurodiversity and he genuinely said I have to manage neurodiverse staff and I need to learn how to do it better. He has totally accepted my diagnosis and told me to carry on being me. We need more people like him. If anyone knows of a reward for a genuine neurodiversity champion let me know.

Enjoy your knitting.

 

[Joeys]

321nbvc

Hi Joeys,

Not an artist I’m familiar with. I had a look at some of her paintings on line. I like them a lot. I’ll keep an eye out for her in future.

You appear to be cohabiting my personal fantasy. Perhaps I’ll get the neighbouring Croft. I’ll grow the veg and do a swop for some eggs.

Wade

Fine with me, we can have our own stall where we sell our produce (to the 1 person every 3 weeks that passes our location)

 

[Loubie]

Mine have varied over the years - I have a room of "stuff" which I call my graveyard of retired hobbies

But there is a theme for a number of them - that I like to understand how things work - for about the last 6/7 years this has manifested as a deep interest in psychology. Prompted by learning about my own and my healing journey re my trauma. Now I just enjoy understanding about psychology more widely. I have also always enjoyed learning science-based knowledge because of this. I spend a lot of time reading, learning, absorbing all sorts of information. And dumping it on people thereafter when the opportunity arises

Music is my other long-term deep passion. I taught myself to play many instruments as a kid and sang (competed musically), and I now stick mainly to singing and my piano. Could do that all day.

Another is finance and accountancy, which I kind of dabbled with even as a kid without realising.. and then it became my career until I stopped work in 2020. Would like to get back to that because getting paid for a deep interest (all the rules and application of them, eg accountancy, tax etc) is the dream. Damn you autistic burnout...

I am actually ill in bed with a stomach bug and got distracted by this thread because seeing it made me want to talk about it, even though I need to go rest. And that is the downside to my deep interests, I can't easily switch them off even when my health demands it.

Laura