Developing new habits

Project Phoenix mentee course Developing new habits

People often ask how I find time to write a newsletter with everything else going on in my life. I’ve realized we all have 24 hours in a day, and it’s how we use them regularly that makes a difference.

When I was a medical student with a baby (now over 40 years old!), I had to find ways to be productive in small, consistent ways. It was incredibly hard, but taking just 5 minutes here and there helped me balance studying and caring for my family. For example, I’d spend 15 minutes in the library reading a few pages, and over time, it added up. This wasn’t planned; it was out of necessity. I worked hard, but I wasn’t always sure if I was focusing on the right things.

Recently, while walking and listening to Atomic Habits, I was reminded of how important it is to create routines and automate tasks to make progress. Habits are formed through repetition. As Leo Tolstoy said, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.” By repeating small actions, we build habits that make a big difference, just like the British cycling team, which used small, incremental improvements to win big at the 2008 Olympics. This idea, known as the “aggregation of marginal gains,” shows that we don’t need to make big leaps to succeed. Small habits, done regularly, are powerful.

For example, if you drink tea every morning, use the time while the kettle boils to clean the kitchen or do a quick workout. Over time, these small actions add up. This concept is called “habit stacking”—adding new habits to ones you already have.

Many people, especially those who are neurodivergent, struggle with habit-building because of past failures, leading to resistance. We often give up too soon when we don’t see results right away. But like weight loss or fitness, small steps accumulate over time, even if we don’t see the immediate impact. The key is to take tiny steps and stay consistent.

I’ve also explored Self-Determination Theory (SDT), which says that three needs—autonomy, competence, and relatedness—motivate us. Internal motivation is important for building lasting habits. External motivation, like being guilted into a behavior, might work temporarily but often leads to resentment. Real change comes from within, and small actions driven by internal motivation can lead to long-term success.

To make habit stacking work, start by recognizing the habits you already have, and add small actions to them. Don’t try to add too many habits at once—master one before moving on to the next. Habits take time to build, but by creating a system and sticking to it, they become automatic.

It’s also important to cut out bad habits, like wasting time on endless TV or doom-scrolling. Reclaim that time for things that bring you value, like learning or exploring new ideas. Small changes in how we spend our time can make a big difference.

Here are five tips to help build habits: