My partners adult son (20) was diagnosed with Asperges 3 years ago and depression 4 years ago. The diagnoses was when he was at college. He struggled making friend and keeping friends along with communicating in social circles.
After college he became very vacant, he doesn’t have many friends if any. He has never had a job and didn’t go on to university. He said that he found it too difficult and was too anxious.
He was on the waiting list for CBT and counselling through the NHS for atleast 2 years when he was then offered the help he insistent that this was Impossible for him, he needed to interact face to face. He was scheduled to attend these sessions in Cirencester (25 miles from our home) We had asked for these session to be where we live so my partner or myself could attend with him to start with until he felt comfortable to attend alone. They couldn’t arrange anyone in our home town so was put back on the waiting list. When Covid first started he was offered over the phone session but he was adamant he couldn’t cope with over the phone session and it needed to be face to face. We explained to him about CBT, he agreed to do video call as long as my partner (his mum was with him). When we then went to arrange this for him he then declined the help.
He is currently going through a stage Of speaking over social media (Snapchat, Facebook, hoop) to multiple woman and has met some. Our concern with this is he is now sending and receiving multiple pictures daily that he is paying for. He appears to jump from relationship to relationship. He seems to get into relationships with girls that either have mental health issues (some have expressed self harm and suicide) or girls that are troubled. He has told us he is lonely unless he is in a relationship.
He will also sleep all day not get up until between 2pm-6pm sometimes as late 730pm and not help around the house. And when challenged he can become aggressive and sarcastic. We have tried to explain to him about a routine without using the words routine. So small things we leave him to do while we are working ie. putting the recycling out, hover, bring his washing down. To try to get him up and into a routine. He used to love designing cartoons or drawing in general so we have also Encourage he gets up to do that as he enjoys it but he doesn’t. We will still return home 10-12 hours late with him in bed. The only thing he seems to want to do is speak to girls and stay up all night.
This is starting to take its toll on his younger brother, mum and myself. Our youngest is 16 so he is starting to become a young man. They were always so close but now the youngest is flying and leaving our eldest behind. Our youngest has always know about the diagnosis and always been amazing and including J. But it’s got to the point where our youngest is fed up and doesn’t want to give J the time of day. It’s extremely difficult as we love him to bits but his behaviour cannot continue. He tells his younger brother he doesn’t care that he sleeps in doesn’t care he doesn’t have a job and just shrugs it off when we try to speak to him
We always offer to be there for him to speak to face to face or even through tx or notes if he were to find it easier but he appears to shut us out and is more interested in either sleeping all day or talking to unknown girls.
We just want to help our son.
Many Thanks
After college he became very vacant, he doesn’t have many friends if any. He has never had a job and didn’t go on to university. He said that he found it too difficult and was too anxious.
He was on the waiting list for CBT and counselling through the NHS for atleast 2 years when he was then offered the help he insistent that this was Impossible for him, he needed to interact face to face. He was scheduled to attend these sessions in Cirencester (25 miles from our home) We had asked for these session to be where we live so my partner or myself could attend with him to start with until he felt comfortable to attend alone. They couldn’t arrange anyone in our home town so was put back on the waiting list. When Covid first started he was offered over the phone session but he was adamant he couldn’t cope with over the phone session and it needed to be face to face. We explained to him about CBT, he agreed to do video call as long as my partner (his mum was with him). When we then went to arrange this for him he then declined the help.
He is currently going through a stage Of speaking over social media (Snapchat, Facebook, hoop) to multiple woman and has met some. Our concern with this is he is now sending and receiving multiple pictures daily that he is paying for. He appears to jump from relationship to relationship. He seems to get into relationships with girls that either have mental health issues (some have expressed self harm and suicide) or girls that are troubled. He has told us he is lonely unless he is in a relationship.
He will also sleep all day not get up until between 2pm-6pm sometimes as late 730pm and not help around the house. And when challenged he can become aggressive and sarcastic. We have tried to explain to him about a routine without using the words routine. So small things we leave him to do while we are working ie. putting the recycling out, hover, bring his washing down. To try to get him up and into a routine. He used to love designing cartoons or drawing in general so we have also Encourage he gets up to do that as he enjoys it but he doesn’t. We will still return home 10-12 hours late with him in bed. The only thing he seems to want to do is speak to girls and stay up all night.
This is starting to take its toll on his younger brother, mum and myself. Our youngest is 16 so he is starting to become a young man. They were always so close but now the youngest is flying and leaving our eldest behind. Our youngest has always know about the diagnosis and always been amazing and including J. But it’s got to the point where our youngest is fed up and doesn’t want to give J the time of day. It’s extremely difficult as we love him to bits but his behaviour cannot continue. He tells his younger brother he doesn’t care that he sleeps in doesn’t care he doesn’t have a job and just shrugs it off when we try to speak to him
We always offer to be there for him to speak to face to face or even through tx or notes if he were to find it easier but he appears to shut us out and is more interested in either sleeping all day or talking to unknown girls.
We just want to help our son.
Many Thanks
