Hello - diagnosed at 39 after a stint in a psych ward :)

[Loubie]

I am late diagnosed - was noted by staff in a psychiatric hospital when my daughter was 6 months old, due to being misdiagnosed with depression and being given meds that made me manic, crash and hallucinate!

Been battling for the support I need since then. Still in burnout over 2 years later, and my husband left me too. He had applied for carer's support and was refused because apparently my needs weren't like being physically disabled so they couldn't support him. After 5 years of being my carer this made him give up. However it was a joke as now I'm alone it's pretty clear I can't do a lot for myself due to my capacity/functioning in daily living activities, and I'm now on a waiting list for adult social care. I'm angry the system refused help earlier and could've prevented my marriage breaking down and needing that help completely if they had listened to what my ex was telling them and believed him.

I also have C-PTSD, and suspected EUPD/BPD (quiet subtype so hard to spot) due to attachment trauma. Before anyone tells me this is a common misdiagnosis, I have done a lot of research and psychology is one of my passions - I do agree with the working assessment, but am debating whether to go for a diagnosis due to stigma involved.

Before my burnout started I headed up international finance teams for a US clinical trials company. I loved my work and have been trying to get back to being myself again to work again since I left work in 2020. Work was a big part of my identity, and a passion of mine, so it has been hard for me not working all this time.

I'm hoping my long term burnout isn't permanant and there's a chance I can get "me" back.

There's loads more I could say - but the most important bits are that I have a daughter and a dog and they are my world

Edit: also note this is all just for background info, I am not asking for advice at this point. Thanks.

 

[Rahere]

I presume you have some reliable grounding techniques and social support mechanisms? The first thing to do is drain the CPTSD. That is actually there to protect you from the fears that caused the trauma, but sometimes the cure's worse than the fear! The mechanism's the Innate Alarm System, and the fix is to stop it triggering. Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger is the entry text, describing primary traumatisation, although it's now out of date as we've spotted another limbic system which can drain an embedded reflex. I'm actually a researcher, so to access that, you've a choice of about 20 therapies, each of which do the same thing from 20 different angles, so find one you feel comfortable with. The exact mechanism's to drop into cognitive suppression with the trigger in your mind's eye, monitored by an empath who can tell you when the reflex response to the trigger has fully drained. It's a single-session heal for each trigger. I found Reiki can actually fill the void left in the amygdala with a reward response, so although the trigger remains, getting a hug back is actually a heal.
Once the disorder's handled and your fears in context, the next step is to explore your neurodiversity and learn to manage it. My own diagnosis was different, and inaccurate, but this is a developing area of psychiatry and the taxonomy's shifting as the DMS-5's been found to be unreliably subjective in the major field of ASD-ADHD, As a result, I reworked the diagnosis and proved I'm a bog-standard genius! Or everyday genius as the shrinks put it. You can of course also have several conditions at once.
Another factor you may have is what Pavlov termed transmarginal inhibition. An MRI/EEG study showed my brain had taken it's speed limiters off, so it never works less than 30% and can near 100%, at which point a fugue occurs, when my neuroception steps in to stop 1+1=blue! This is where grounding comes in. The rest of my meltdowns are traumatic and now I know how to deal with that, it's a question of playing whack-a-mole with the triggers, and giving myself permission not to be a numpty, however much the real numpties insist I'm just like them. It's fine to be whatever you are, and the Equality Act can be your path back in, properly supported by an informed Director and HR.

 

[Loubie]

I presume you have some reliable grounding techniques and social support mechanisms? The first thing to do is drain the CPTSD. That is actually there to protect you from the fears that caused the trauma, but sometimes the cure's worse than the fear! The mechanism's the Innate Alarm System, and the fix is to stop it triggering. Peter Levine's Waking the Tiger is the entry text, describing primary traumatisation, although it's now out of date as we've spotted another limbic system which can drain an embedded reflex. I'm actually a researcher, so to access that, you've a choice of about 20 therapies, each of which do the same thing from 20 different angles, so find one you feel comfortable with. The exact mechanism's to drop into cognitive suppression with the trigger in your mind's eye, monitored by an empath who can tell you when the reflex response to the trigger has fully drained. It's a single-session heal for each trigger. I found Reiki can actually fill the void left in the amygdala with a reward response, so although the trigger remains, getting a hug back is actually a heal.
Once the disorder's handled and your fears in context, the next step is to explore your neurodiversity and learn to manage it. My own diagnosis was different, and inaccurate, but this is a developing area of psychiatry and the taxonomy's shifting as the DMS-5's been found to be unreliably subjective in the major field of ASD-ADHD, As a result, I reworked the diagnosis and proved I'm a bog-standard genius! Or everyday genius as the shrinks put it. You can of course also have several conditions at once.
Another factor you may have is what Pavlov termed transmarginal inhibition. An MRI/EEG study showed my brain had taken it's speed limiters off, so it never works less than 30% and can near 100%, at which point a fugue occurs, when my neuroception steps in to stop 1+1=blue! This is where grounding comes in. The rest of my meltdowns are traumatic and now I know how to deal with that, it's a question of playing whack-a-mole with the triggers, and giving myself permission not to be a numpty, however much the real numpties insist I'm just like them. It's fine to be whatever you are, and the Equality Act can be your path back in, properly supported by an informed Director and HR.

Hi,
Sorry that's too much info for my visually overwhelmed brain, I can't read it, let alone process it all. Tried coming back a few times and it's just not happening. Know you mean well but please could you avoid doing that for me as I am not in a place to receive it without it making my brain implode if I try so you should save your energy Also I get triggered by people giving me unsolicited advice as it feels invalidating, oversimplification of my challenges, and like criticism in disguise - even if that isn't the intention. If I wanted advice I would be specifically asking for it Thanks for understanding

Re the first bit, that I could partially read - grounding exercises don't work for me, never have, due to a combo of cptsd triggers being so intense and fast responses, and interception difficulties and Alexithymia.

Grounding never stops the trigger. It is just a sticking plaster that soothes some people post-trigger that can do that in that moment where the logical brain is turned off. My logical brain override is too powerful there isn't a glimmer of it that can respond in those moments. I have already shutdown once triggered and it's too late. I have had a lifetime of trauma since I was a child, too much has happened to me. Been told my baseline fight or flight is way heightened that it's more like someone else's triggered threat response level. I have a very small window of tolerance also. Everyone is different in how they respond and what they need. Cbt didn't work for me either, same reasons.

I have had 1y of emdr and the reprogramming that has done to my brain so far, dealing with the underlying core trauma schemas and my internalised beliefs to prevent the trigger at the root cause, is the only thing that has helped. Still have another 1y of that to do, but it has really helped. It has created some level of feeling safe in my body and mind that I have never had before, even at baseline. Although I'm now being tested for adrenal failure due to my body being in such a long term permanent stress state so that's the next battle I have to face.

December 2025/Jan 2026 edit: now found out the adrenal failure they suspected re my severe fatigue is in fact fibromyalgia. Possibly also CFS too. Investigations ongoing

 

[MandyH]

Hi,
Sorry that's too much info for my visually overwhelmed brain, I can't read it, let alone process it all. Tried coming back a few times and it's just not happening. Know you mean well but please could you avoid doing that for me as I am not in a place to receive it without it making my brain implode if I try so you should save your energy Also I get triggered by people giving me unsolicited advice as it feels invalidating, oversimplification of my challenges, and like criticism in disguise - even if that isn't the intention. If I wanted advice I would be specifically asking for it Thanks for understanding

Re the first bit, that I could partially read - grounding exercises don't work for me, never have, due to a combo of cptsd triggers being so intense and fast responses, and interception difficulties and Alexithymia.

Grounding never stops the trigger. It is just a sticking plaster that soothes some people post-trigger that can do that in that moment where the logical brain is turned off. My logical brain override is too powerful there isn't a glimmer of it that can respond in those moments. I have already shutdown once triggered and it's too late. I have had a lifetime of trauma since I was a child, too much has happened to me. Been told my baseline fight or flight is way heightened that it's more like someone else's triggered threat response level. I have a very small window of tolerance also. Everyone is different in how they respond and what they need. Cbt didn't work for me either, same reasons.

I have had 1y of emdr and the reprogramming that has done to my brain so far, dealing with the underlying core trauma schemas and my internalised beliefs to prevent the trigger at the root cause, is the only thing that has helped. Still have another 1y of that to do, but it has really helped. It has created some level of feeling safe in my body and mind that I have never had before, even at baseline. Although I'm now being tested for adrenal failure due to my body being in such a long term permanent stress state so that's the next battle I have to face.

I have heard many similar stories to yours and am so sorry this has been happening to you. We need better systems and earlier identification of autism.

Do you think it would be helpful or triggering to read about similar experiences? I only ask because I have read a book by someone who was incarcerated against her will several times - it's called 'Unbroken - Learning to live beyond diagnosis' by Alexis Quinn. She's also an amazing speaker on the topic if that may be of interest. Her book is harrowing but powerful in a good way too. It made me very angry and sad on her behalf, but I have been fortunate enough not to have shared her experiences and it may be too much for someone who has had a similar journey.

 

[Loubie]

I have heard many similar stories to yours and am so sorry this has been happening to you. We need better systems and earlier identification of autism.

Do you think it would be helpful or triggering to read about similar experiences? I only ask because I have read a book by someone who was incarcerated against her will several times - it's called 'Unbroken - Learning to live beyond diagnosis' by Alexis Quinn. She's also an amazing speaker on the topic if that may be of interest. Her book is harrowing but powerful in a good way too. It made me very angry and sad on her behalf, but I have been fortunate enough not to have shared her experiences and it may be too much for someone who has had a similar journey.

Thanks for the validation and book rec - sharing your own experiences is fine if you want to share more

 

[bluelyn]

I am late diagnosed - was noted by staff in a psychiatric hospital when my daughter was 6 months old, due to being misdiagnosed with depression and being given meds that made me manic, crash and hallucinate!

Been battling for the support I need since then. Still in burnout over 2 years later, and my husband left me too. He had applied for carer's support and was refused because apparently my needs weren't like being physically disabled so they couldn't support him. After 5 years of being my carer this made him give up. However it was a joke as now I'm alone it's pretty clear I can't do a lot for myself due to my capacity/functioning in daily living activities, and I'm now on a waiting list for adult social care. I'm angry the system refused help earlier and could've prevented my marriage breaking down and needing that help completely if they had listened to what my ex was telling them and believed him.

I also have C-PTSD, and suspected EUPD/BPD (quiet subtype so hard to spot) due to attachment trauma. Before anyone tells me this is a common misdiagnosis, I have done a lot of research and psychology is one of my passions - I do agree with the working assessment, but am debating whether to go for a diagnosis due to stigma involved.

Before my burnout started I headed up international finance teams for a US clinical trials company. I loved my work and have been trying to get back to being myself again to work again since I left work in 2020. Work was a big part of my identity, and a passion of mine, so it has been hard for me not working all this time.

I'm hoping my long term burnout isn't permanant and there's a chance I can get "me" back.

There's loads more I could say - but the most important bits are that I have a daughter and a dog and they are my world

Edit: also note this is all just for background info, I am not asking for advice at this point. Thanks.

Have you been able to get any support yet to help you?

I noticed an update around CFS and fibromyalgia have you been able to get any support to help

I agree with what you've said about CBT and grounding it doesn't work for me either, I spiral so quickly and rarely thoughts before, I know I need to get better at spotting my own internal signal or overwhelm to prevent the meltdowns

 

[Loubie]

Have you been able to get any support yet to help you?

I noticed an update around CFS and fibromyalgia have you been able to get any support to help

I agree with what you've said about CBT and grounding it doesn't work for me either, I spiral so quickly and rarely thoughts before, I know I need to get better at spotting my own internal signal or overwhelm to prevent the meltdowns

Hey,

Lots of things in progress now, but not in place yet.
Had a year of emdr which has massively helped the spirals. That ended last year, had a 6m consolidation break and restart emdr again in April.
Adult social care assessment has started now, been on waiting list for 14 months.
Now have PIP awarded, enhanced rate for both.
Both of which means I can start looking at help at home soon.
Have had help from virtual autism hub (nhs lincs) with getting funding for things to help my daughter, help with benefits etc.
Obviously a lot of progress has been made due to the pathway programme, mentoring and peer support, learning about my needs and how to support myself and advocacy etc. I have a lot of strategies that help me avoid meltdowns way more now too.

So things are getting better.

 

[Joeys]

I am late diagnosed - was noted by staff in a psychiatric hospital when my daughter was 6 months old, due to being misdiagnosed with depression and being given meds that made me manic, crash and hallucinate!

Been battling for the support I need since then. Still in burnout over 2 years later, and my husband left me too. He had applied for carer's support and was refused because apparently my needs weren't like being physically disabled so they couldn't support him. After 5 years of being my carer this made him give up. However it was a joke as now I'm alone it's pretty clear I can't do a lot for myself due to my capacity/functioning in daily living activities, and I'm now on a waiting list for adult social care. I'm angry the system refused help earlier and could've prevented my marriage breaking down and needing that help completely if they had listened to what my ex was telling them and believed him.

I also have C-PTSD, and suspected EUPD/BPD (quiet subtype so hard to spot) due to attachment trauma. Before anyone tells me this is a common misdiagnosis, I have done a lot of research and psychology is one of my passions - I do agree with the working assessment, but am debating whether to go for a diagnosis due to stigma involved.

Before my burnout started I headed up international finance teams for a US clinical trials company. I loved my work and have been trying to get back to being myself again to work again since I left work in 2020. Work was a big part of my identity, and a passion of mine, so it has been hard for me not working all this time.

I'm hoping my long term burnout isn't permanant and there's a chance I can get "me" back.

There's loads more I could say - but the most important bits are that I have a daughter and a dog and they are my world

Edit: also note this is all just for background info, I am not asking for advice at this point. Thanks.

Hey Loubie. I'm sorry to hear you've had to go through so much. I can relate in the fact I was divorced because of my MH which turned out the just be plain old Autism. In sickness and in health? Nope. I've been diagnosed with other things and medicated for them all for over 20yrs and I finally had the answer only a month or so ago. I had worked since I was 13. The first time id ever had time of was in 2022, I'm only just interviewing again after more therapy and meds and misdiagnoses I could have again done without. I think mine was longer due to the fact I just kept pushing through and had a mortgage to pay etc. That came at a massive cost. I have been diagnosed with BPD most recently before my Autism diagnosis apparently they are similar in diagnostic criteria but I think the Psychiatrist missed it perhaps or I was so good at masking? I don't have children but I have had rescue dogs and cats my whole life. Headed up US finance teams!! That sounds stressful yet fascinating.