Ableist sister

Scott

New member
My sister has told me that to accommodate me is too much to ask as time and tide wait for no man. Has said she disagrees that autism is a disability. That it’s somehow easier to accommodate visibly disabled people as if they don’t have to fight against ableism in society. She’s insulted me and all disabled people and it makes me so mad.
 

Margot

Administrator
Many of us have experience of difficulties in the family, unfortunately.

But ultimately, did she really mean it, did you tell her it is ableist? Maybe she though she was encouraging you and needs to be educated on the ableism?
 

Scott

New member
Many of us have experience of difficulties in the family, unfortunately.

But ultimately, did she really mean it, did you tell her it is ableist? Maybe she though she was encouraging you and needs to be educated on the ableism?
Thank you. yeah I told her it was ableist and remained as calm as I could over text message and on the phone. I offered to share resources and she told me she wouldn’t have time to read them but that I could explain to her. She said that I got angry after she told me “autism wasn’t a disability because some people she knows that are on the spectrum cope fine” and that stopped her listening to the content of what I said. This was after a 2 hour call where we’d reached no common ground. She said I wanted a life of fighting and she didn’t and that we’d have to agree to disagree. She does need education on ableism but it’s very hard to provide it when she won’t read anything and keeps challenging me and not really taking in what I say. Plus phone conversations are harder for me to get my point across because I have to process what she is saying find the correct time to respond without it being considered an interruption etc. Auditory processing issues make things difficult. She is very in line with the medical model of disability where it’s up to me to make changes not society to be more accommodating but she won’t go as far as to label autism a disability which the medical model for all its flaws will do.